by Jenny
Gender: Female

Age: 28
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Florida
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: NA
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Open Relationship FWB

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months to present

How would you best classify this hookup? FWB

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? (Mark) and I met on OkCupid. Being in a long distance relationship, my boyfriend and I decided to consensually open our relationship up to sleeping with others (We weren’t able to see each other for 8 months.)
That I wasn’t looking for anything serious, a FWB, was stated on my profile. After a few dates with random men that didn’t lead to anything, I met Mark, who is blonde, just shy of 6 feet, and 210 lbs of solid 8-pack bodybuilder physique. When dating, I’ve always been really conscious of meeting men with a great personality and gauging our ability to connect before considering the physical attraction. This was a great opportunity to say to hell with all of that, and explore a purely physical (and I’ll admit, somewhat shallow) side to my sexuality. It was really freeing on some levels, and there was also some guilt attached.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After going out a couple of times, I decided I wanted to sleep with him. The dates leading up to the hook-up were there to make sure he was respectful, open-minded, and to try to get a better feel if he was crazy in any way. Around 2am we started kissing on his motorcycle at a local diner parking lot.  I could feel his cock pressing on my leg through his jeans, and after 8 months of celibacy I was ready for some fun to happen. I really liked that he was sexual and open, but waited for me to take the lead – he was really into me being just as ready for it as he was. There were other guys I had gone out who were pushy and impatient, which was a big turn-off for me. We had also had the opportunity to discuss sex since we had spent the previous 7 hours driving around and talking, and finding out that he was open to kink about an hour before was a big factor in my decision to go for it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time, only oral happened. I was interested in sex, but he was really thick and wouldn’t fit into my average size condoms. Later I went online and special ordered some thin XL sized condoms.

I didn’t orgasm. For some reason, the majority of the men I’ve been with prefer giving oral to a woman while she’s sitting on their face. I don’t mind doing this for men if they enjoy it (especially when I get to occasionally smother them), but I can’t relax, and can’t come this way. I worry about men in general not enjoying giving oral (I hear a lot of negative talk about it from guys I’ve been around), which, while I love receiving, I only want it if they aren’t there counting the seconds til it’s over.  So thus I am not too aggressive in saying what I need to orgasm, especially in the beginning when with a new partner. We’ve since worked around this, and I orgasm each time we’re together.

One of the best things about hooking up with Mark is he is multi-orgasmic, and stays  hard for as long as I want him. He was able to come 3 times the first time we hooked up. He is also into kink, and while he isn’t quite as aggressive as I would like, we’ve been able to play with other aspects of kink that we’re both into as we’ve grown a little more comfortable with each other. The kink aspect to sex is why I choose one long term FWB as opposed to one night stands – it takes a little while before people are comfortable exposing that side of themselves to others.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Mark was really pushy about not using a condom. Even after repeatedly insisting I didn’t want to have sex without a condom the first time we hooked up (we hadn’t talked about testing, pregnancy prevention, etc.), he still tried to get on top of me and just put it in bareback. I had to put my feet on either side of his hips and push him off, and he finally stopped. That really sucked, and it made me lose a lot of respect for him. Whereas I was looking for a long term FWB that potentially could get to where we got tested and had sex without a condom, after that incident I couldn’t trust him to wear a condom if he hooked up with a different woman, and I don’t want to worry about that. So we always use a condom, even though both of us have been tested at this point and are negative, and it will always be that way between us.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? A long distance relationship (Months in-between seeing each other). Wanting to explore kink.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No alcohol (he never drinks, I do occasionally), no drugs.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the first hookup I was upset (bc of the condom issue). Other than that I’ve really enjoyed being with him. It’s great having casual sex with someone that I know so well, without any of the relationship strings attached. I’d be there for him in a bind (as a close friend would), so I can’t say that it is entirely without emotion, but I wouldn’t date him, even if we were both single.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of my close friends. They were appalled at first that my boyfriend and I had opened up our relationship, but I pointed out that they had cheated on their boyfriends, which is much worse IMO. I like the honesty of my relationship with my boyfriend, it has brought the two of us much closer together.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing – getting to experience new and kinky things with an incredibly hot guy!!! The worst was having to reinforce a boundary over and over again with the condom use, but in a positive light that has made me feel more confident that I can maintain my boundaries, and since then he has shown me respect. He has also helped me realize that sex can happen between people who are affectionate and caring towards each other, who hang out on a semi-weekly basis, but that it doesn’t necessarily turn into either partner wanting a relationship out of it. It’s great.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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