by Flavigny

Gender: Female

Age: 23
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Germany
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Advertising
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Party Hook-Up Turned Into Booty Call

How long ago did this hookup happen? December 2013

How would you best classify this hookup? Booty call

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The first time I ever met R was at my friend’s housewarming party in February 2013. I hardly knew anyone and looked like shit that day (went swimming earlier and did not shower before going to the party) and he was gorgeous. He came to the party with his girlfriend and I was not at all expecting anything to happen. He wore fitted pants, a nice shirt and looked GOOD. Well-styled dark hair and beard. It was the first time I’d met him and he was 100% my type.

We first started talking in the kitchen about some random stuff, I don’t even remember, but he initiated the conversation. We played beer pong together and everything was innocent up until his girlfriend left to go home and he wanted to stay. He started being quite touchy-feely, but nothing wild. We ended up being the last people at the party. We were sitting on the couch in the living room with the host and kind of started holding hands. At some point the host left the room and we tackled each other to make out. It was insane. Whenever the host came back we stopped which made it insanely exciting. Funnily enough the host made us both stay the night and we ended up making out on the pull-out couch. I gave him a hand-job, but didn’t want anything to happen, because 1) he had a girlfriend, 2) I was a virgin and 3) I didn’t want my first time to be with a random dude on my friend’s couch.

Sometime early in the morning (around 6 a.m.) he started freaking out because of his girlfriend (he was staying with her, because he lived in another city) and left. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him. I didn’t hear from him, though, but I also didn’t expect that.

Fast forward to December 2013. At some point my friend told me that R had broken up with his girlfriend and had moved to my city. When I was out with a friend one night I ended up messaging him on Facebook, just asking how he is. I didn’t let him know that I knew about his breakup. We started talking and then ended up deciding we wanted to meet up again. It was clear we were talking about sex. At this point I was still a virgin, but was over it and wanted to “get rid of it.” Multiple meet ups fell through and one night I let him know that I really wanted to see him. We were both out with friends and decided to meet up later.

At around 3 a.m. we texted each other to meet up. He came to my place around 4 a.m. We talked for quite some time interrupted by little make out sessions.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Considering it was clear that we would hook up, I had bought condoms and shaved. But that was it.
We were on my couch making out like teenagers when we decided to move it to the bedroom. He was the active one. We went to bed and kind of just hung out in bed for a little bit until we started making out more and him undressing me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kept making out and at some point it seemed as if he wanted to go down on me but I wasn’t feeling it. So I stopped it and we basically went straight to PIV [Penis in Vagina]. It hurt for a second, but nothing major. He was careful, but very intense. His dick was nice, but a little too long for me. He went in too deep a few times, but I told him and he was very cute about it. It felt good, but I didn’t come. He did. When he did he kind of choked me a little bit, which came as a surprise. I know he is into that, but I wasn’t loving it. He didn’t overdo it, though, it was all good.

I think in theory he is a good lover, but I was very shy and didn’t take full advantage of that.

After he came I was a bit sore, so we didn’t go for another round. I think he would’ve wanted that, but I wasn’t up for it. We talked for a little after, but then he left which was what I preferred.

We kissed goodbye and didn’t make future plans.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms, we didn’t discuss STI history.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I had the opportunity and I wanted to.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Both times there was alcohol and some weed. The second time I had drank earlier, but was quite sober by the time he came to my place. I did some weed in front of him, but we only drank water.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? At first I felt really good about it. We texted a bit and at first wanted to repeat it, but then he said we are looking for different things sexually. I wasn’t looking for anything serious with him, but I would’ve liked hooking up again.
We have mutual friends, so we see each other on occasion, but I don’t want anything to happen again. He annoys me now. When he gets drunk at parties it is insanely irritating.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to basically all of my friends about it. I left out the virgin-detail, because I’m embarrassed it took me this long.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual and wanted for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do a little bit. Looking back on it I wish I had been more secure about myself, because it would’ve made things more enjoyable for me. But I’m glad I have the virgin thing out of the way.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Gaining the experience was the best thing. The worst was maybe how insecure I was about it. I don’t know how I actually feel about casual sex, since this was my first experience in this way. We will see…

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? The fact that he had a girlfriend the first time we met was something that bothered me, but didn’t stop me. I didn’t want to sleep with him that first time because of her, but I didn’t care enough to not kiss him.
I don’t really know what caused their break up. My friend told me that she found out he had cheated, but frankly I don’t know if I’m the only girl he had cheated with.

Also to this day he doesn’t know that I’d lost my virginity to him and I will never let him know.

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