What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Past That Now
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Precocious freshman I met at a college party. Very direct. Very sexual.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She approached me at a party, wing-woman in tow. I was standing alone, and I guess she saw her chance. Fifteen minutes later we were making out on a couch. We left to go to my room, but my roommate was in (secretly, I knew that, but led her there to pick up a condom). I swiped us in to a private office in the student center.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Well… We fucked. She gave me an amazing blow job that, to this day, has never been matched. I didn’t reciprocate. To be honest, I didn’t know how to. We started having vaginal sex on one couch, then moved over to the other and finished there. I came softly and let her know I was done.
It was exactly how I wanted to lose my virginity. She was supportive, took the lead, and was fantastic (er… practiced). I never told her I was a virgin, but she probably guessed. She was totally discrete. She never told anyone except that one friend, as far as I know. Tough to pull that off on a small campus.
When it was over, we went our separate ways. We had done what we came to do. Mostly, I was glad that 10+ drinks in, I didn’t throw up on her.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was thrilled. She must have liked me okay, because the very next week she joined the campus group I spent most of time in.
We never really talked about it, and we lost touch for most of a year. Then, we had a class together. Slowly, over shared work, mostly online, the flirting began.
After a couple months of that, I saw her at a party. We “danced”. She couldn’t have sex (I think she was on her period), but the floodgates were open. We spent the rest of the year fucking at least once a week, sometimes much more that that.
I graduated, and haven’t seen her since.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my (mostly male) friends, but left identifying details out for those who didn’t know. They either didn’t care much (“that finally happened”) or were glad I could now better understand them (“you see why I’m so obsessed with sex?”).
Those who knew her were not impressed, but I told very few people who she was.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Lost my virginity to someone I completely trust.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I didn’t follow up. Missed some more chances for good sex.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. My first sexual experience was a good one (I’m NOT counting previous “fooling around” that didn’t include penetrative sex). I could tell we had chemistry, I could tell she was kind, and I could tell she was trustworthy–all in one quick conversation while plastered drunk. That’s a strong argument that hookups can be successful.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I had casual sex from ages 20-25 because my life wasn’t together enough to have a real relationship. In part, I wanted some quick intimacy, in part I wanted to practice, so when I was ready for a relationship, I wouldn’t hold back for fear of embarrassing myself.
I’m past that stage of my life, about to get married, fully content, and never plan to go back. That said, i don’t regret hardly any of it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting enough to write this up. Let’s see what conclusions you get out of it.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!