What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What country and/or city do you live in? Nomad
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Nomad
What’s your current relationship status? Single
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Polyamorous Party Sex
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Most ridiculously stereotypical New York Jew. A hot version of Woody Allen, complete with neurosis, beard, curls, and sex-shame. Shame as in — ‘woah, I just role played as a rapist enjoyed it, I’m a terrible person’. Wrote fantasy fiction and saw a shrink. We met at a polyamorous party in Brooklyn, and I was charmed by his blue eyes, grey hair, the witty conversation, then his kiss (the only becoming one in that round of spin the bottle).
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After making out during spin the bottle, we each had a glass of whisky and decided to move from the party area to the play area (this was vocally expressed first). We continued to make out, then took off each others’ clothes, and had sex on the mattress on the floor where loads of people had had sex on before us. There were plenty of people having sex on other mattresses in that room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Kinky stuff: enacted rape fantasy. He wanted to be called a dirty old man, and I wanted to play the part of the helpless little girl. Apart from that, it was basically vanilla sex, only full of other people around us. Of course there was ass slapping, hair pulling, and biting, but that’s vanilla for me. There was also a lot of giggling, as this was the first time each of us had had intercourse this publicly.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? I don’t know
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was slightly fascinated by him, tried to pursue, then got really bored. For someone who has casual rape-fantasy sex at polyamorous parties, he was kind of a dry towel. I had to meet his wife for it to be okay for us to have sex at his place. And once we did have sex at his place, he told me to use plan b since I’m not on birth control: extremely disrespectful to my control over my own body, and also, just the sign of a control freak. So that was it for that story, and I went off to other adventures.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends, Boredom
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To some friends, they thought he sounded like a control-freak. And to acquaintances to tell them about the polyamorous scene in New York.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Intercourse.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The person’s annoying personality.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I should just have sex and stop talking to the person unless they have a great personality.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is a great release for me while I don’t have a secure partner to fulfill my sexual needs. Otherwise I stay up all night trying to masturbate to porn/imagination– I still haven’t figured out how to enjoy myself by myself. So basically casual sex is masturbation with another person’s body– someone with whom I may laugh, enjoy great food, watch a film. All these things are more enjoyable in the company with someone else– so is genital stimulation.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It seems like a great project; unfortunately many of the posts are poorly written. I’d suggest filtering or editing.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!