What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? oakland
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer!
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 16
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Public in industrail area
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She’s very well dressed, tends towards large formal dresses and overcoats and keeps her hair long. It sounds funny to say but she has a certain ‘refined’ air about her, a person who’s intelligent and sure of it.
She’s a long-time friend who I had previously turned down intimately. I felt a little awkward around her but knew she was still interested in me years later. We ended up in a threesome with my long-term partner once before this, which ‘left the door open’ so to speak.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We ended up at a show together out in an industrial area of town and started talking. After the music ended we were drinking some beers outside as the venue started to clear out. We began making out, which I had guessed would happen but didn’t really plan for, and most of the people just ignored us. After about twenty minutes of kissing, basically everyone had left as the area of town is almost entirely deserted beyond midnight.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She’s incredibly fierce and forward in intimate moments and I could tell then that she would probably agree to fuck anywhere. I realized the small open lot across the street had a few trees giving it some cover so I simply asked “do you want to go over there?” and pointed. I can only describe our walk over as ‘brisk’.
We continued kissing and grinding on each other against the tree, by this time it was clear we were going to get naked. I don’t remember who started undressing first, but we both ended up with our pants down to our knees and touching each other’s genitals. She squatted down and sucked my cock for a few minutes, clearly enjoying the performative aspect of doing this in public. After that I pulled out a condom from my backpack and pushed her onto the ground.
The lot was unpaved and covered in knee-high weeds, so we were fairly invisible to the few cars that drove through the area. It was pretty awkward as we still had our pants and shoes on, but I started fucking her from above, she was extremely vocal and excited. A short time later we pulled off our pants and were totally naked rom the waste down. I rolled her onto her side and laying next to her, fucking her from behind. She enjoys behind choked / grabbed by the neck and I did a lot of this once we were laying down. It was very exciting to be so aggressively fucking someone in what was basically a dusty field in the middle of the city. At this point I could tell she wasn’t very wet and the condom had dried out from all the repositioning and pauses, but she was so into it that we kept going.
Physical stimulation was pretty low, but there was kind of a frenzy to the situation. Someone jogged past on the sidewalk and we stopped and held nearly still, just very slowly fucking and grabbing each other. Somewhere in all this she came at least once, I felt like I could but wasn’t really focused on making that happen.
Eventually the energy kind of died down and we got up awkwardly and put our pants back on.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? She had walked to the venue while I had biked. It felt a little dangerous to walk back through the sketchy part of town so I ended up biking home really fast and grabbing my car, then driving her back to her house. We made out a little more in the car and then we went to sleep at our separate houses.
I felt (And still do feel) excited when I remember this happening. We had sex a few more times after this but in similarly sporadic episodes. For a short time I thought we could have an ongoing romantic relationship but I felt she wanted a friendship and totally separate sexual relationship. I see her around occasionally and do miss hanging out, but now with a monogamous partnership and hanging out in a different circle of friends I feel like we won’t see each other again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more confident, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few close friends, they were excited for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Really fun and frenzied public sex.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not continuing a relationship with the person or even much of a friendship
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I see myself now much more a person who can make fun things like this happen, and see potentials for more open sexual relationships in the future.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’d love to see more casual public sex in peoples lives, but maybe with much more clear expectations. Bottom line is people need to be clearer in their communications for desires.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think this site will help a lot with keeping people safe and managing expectations.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!