Finally, we have an app that is designed purely for hooking up. No endless conversations with no follow through, no matches that are miles away by the time you actually chat, no getting your hopes up only to find out they aren’t looking for the same things as you. Imagine if Uber, Tinder, and Snapchat had a threesome, birthing PURE, a hookup app that is direct and straightforward as fuck.
Given our love of hookups, we here at the Casual Sex Project feel like Pure was kind of created for us and all the casual sex aficionados out there. So we want to introduce you to the app, invite you to download and play with it, share with us your stories and experiences over the next month using our Share Your Story form, and incentivize you to do that by offering you a couple of sexy giveaways thanks to our sponsor LELO!
You make eye contact with a handsome stranger from across a dimly lit cocktail bar. Suddenly, your mind starts racing, imagining how the night may unfold with him. You see yourself approaching him, and without saying a word, you entice him to follow you into a darker part of the bar. You kiss, passionately, your hands tracing the lines of his torso. He’s a good kisser, his touch on your skin feels electric, and you shamelessly surrender to the pure physical attraction that brings your wanting bodies together at this very moment. It doesn’t matter you might never see him again. It doesn’t matter you don’t know anything about him. In fact, that adds to the mystery, the excitement, the freedom to be whoever you want to be in that very moment. You invite him back to your place. Or perhaps your lust cannot wait that long – and you find an empty bathroom stall or a dark alley outside where he bends you over, slides inside you, and slowly fucks you to a powerful orgasm while you frantically rub your clit.
If you’ve ever fantasized about sex with an anonymous stranger, you’re not alone. Hot anonymous sex with a stranger often ranks near the top of pop culture (and science-supported) lists of sexual fantasies: In one, over 60% of college women (and over 90% of men) admitted to such fantasy.
And its popularity as a fantasy is not that surprising, really. There are many reasons why anonymous sex with a stranger can be appealing. Here are our favorite four.
Novelty, anonymity, risk, rebellion, experimentation – these are all things that give our brains a rush of dopamine and adrenaline, the ingredients of exhilaration and excitement. It’s basically a dose of the purest Colombian cocaine, without the legal and health ramifications. And our brains have evolved to love it.
- Uninhibited physical gratification
Our bodies also evolved to enjoy sexual stimulation. For some of us, that stimulation needs to come packaged with love, shared history, and commitment, but many of us don’t need those extra layers. The physical sensations are often pleasant and enjoyable in and of themselves. (If they weren’t, the human species would’ve had a serious problem populating this planet as well as it did.) Relax, be present in the moment, give all you can to your partner for the short time you’re with them, and receive as much as they can give you.
Maybe you’re busy and don’t have time for a relationship, but still have sexual needs. Maybe you’re not sure he or she is “the One”. Maybe you’ve recently broken up with someone and not ready to date again. Maybe sex in your long-term relationship is getting a bit stale. Or maybe life is stressful and you need to relieve some tension through sex. Anonymous sex with a stranger may be just what the doctor prescribed. This is a time when you can forget about everything else, and focus solely on pleasure and exploration. There’s no relationship baggage, no emotional hang-ups, no serious obligations, just pure unadulterated fun.
- Fulfill a riskier fantasy
It can be scary to reveal an unusual sexual fantasy to a long-term partner. What if they judge you or laugh at you? What if they get scared off? What if you’re too embarrassed to even bring it up? It’s sometimes easier to tell secrets to a stranger because the stakes are much lower. Who cares if they judge you? You’ll never see them again! Be bold. Ask for all those things you’re too uncomfortable to ask known partners for. And maybe your anonymous partner really is a sexy pirate or a college professor, you don’t know that he’s not!
As fun as the “hot sex with a stranger” scenario sounds as a fantasy, turning it into reality is not always that easy. Especially if you’re a woman. Years of societal brainwashing have taught you all too well you’re not supposed to even desire casual sex with nameless strangers, let alone do it. You know the feelings of shame or guilt that can creep up on occasion following a hookup, even an amazing one. You worry about slut-shaming, about diseases, about unwanted pregnancies, about getting hurt physically, about having your boundaries disrespected. You doubt you can relax enough to enjoy a random sexual encounter, or that a stranger can touch you the way you want to be touched to make it pleasurable. You suspect those charismatic men who will sweep you off your feet without a word are likely arrogant, selfish, manipulative jerks that wouldn’t make very good lovers, even for one night…
No wonder over 80% of the undergrads in that study who had fantasized about sex with a stranger in a positive way had also sometimes experienced this fantasy as unpleasant, unacceptable, and going against their sense of self.
But sometimes, you’re strong enough, rebellious enough, and horny enough to push through all the fears and worries, and to shed the shame our society tries to pin on you for wanting what you want. Sometimes, you feel empowered enough to own up to your desires, take your sexuality into your own hands, and embark on an adventure that just might prove amazing. Sure, the potential for danger is there, and with anonymous strangers you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. But you know what they say, no risk, no reward.
Granted, unless you are a “Super Slut” (someone who, like some of us here at the Casual Sex Project, lives for the novelty and excitement of sex with lots of different people), you probably don’t want this all the time. But every now and then, that need for adventure, excitement, and mystery rears its devilish head and demands to be fed.
Once that day comes, what do you do? Where do you find the tall, dark stranger (or short and blond, or redhead, or whatever floats your boat, really) to have this adventure with without even revealing your name? Is that even possible in this age where everyone is socially connected through Facebook and Instagram??
You have a few different options. A bar or a club is the most obvious one. That’s always fun– you have a chance to flirt with potential candidates and see how they move, talk, and navigate social spaces before you decide you want to go home with them. But partying is time consuming and energy consuming, often financially demanding, and sometimes leaves you empty handed: Too many people drunk people or not enough sexy single people willing to play right there right then.
Another CSP favorite are chance meetings in spaces where people least expect them: while on the subway, walking down the street, waiting at the airport, in line for the post office… This is not too hard to do: On a day you’re feeling particularly sexy, be aware of your surroundings while running errands and going about your day, notice any hot strangers around you, smile at them, invite them to chat you up, tell them they look gorgeous that day… When these connections happen, they make for an absolutely electric experience. The downside, of course, is that you can’t quite count on them. They are so special because they are so random, unexpected, and impossible to plan.
Then there are all the hookup/dating apps/websites: Tinder/Happn/Hinge/Bumble/OKC… These are more reliable than chance meetings or even bar/club hookups, and they are certainly a good potential source of casual, uncomplicated sex. But not necessarily immediate, anonymous, scandalous sex. Most of these apps ask you to sign in with your Facebook account, connect with your Instagram and Soundcloud accounts, show you matches with mutual friends of yours, common interests… There goes anonymity. Even if you did find someone totally outside your social circle, conversations on these apps often end up in weeks- or months-long back and forth, never finding the time to meet up (one of us just finally hooked up with someone she’d matched with on Tinder almost 2 years ago!). So there goes immediacy. And finally, these apps/websites are far less controversial than they once were; I mean, people are getting married off of them! (Have you attended a Tinder wedding yet? We have.) There goes the naughtiness. Nothing worse than chatting with someone and hoping they’re DTF but they’re really seeking an LTR.
Let us suggest yet another option, one that promises to satisfy the criteria of this particular fantasy: A spontaneous hookup with someone who’s hot, unknown, and available right now.
Enter Pure an app designed to connect people for purely casual, anonymous encounters. It doesn’t require you to connect your Facebook account, your email address, or even your phone number; there is no profile description, no personal interests, not even a name. There is no need for all that info: Unlike anywhere else—online or offline—you can be assured that everyone on it is there for one and only one reason: To find hot, steamy, uncomplicated sex right that minute. No beating around the bush, no hopeful guesses that they want what you want, no misunderstandings, no endless back-and-forth.
All there is on Pure is a single photograph (so make it count!), your location, and one hour to match and chat with people near you. You submit your single-photo request when you’re ready to play, and have an hour to chat with each match, exchange more photos (easily done through the app), and decide whether you’re going to take the next step or not. And that’s it. Your messages are encrypted end-to-end as you chat, and once the hour is up, your request and conversations are gone. Like, really gone. Scrubbed from the app and even Pure’s servers. No one will know you were there. Isn’t it fun to have a dirty little secret?
There is nothing quite like Pure out there. It combines the immediacy of Uber with the geolocation and simplicity of Tinder, the disappearing-photos ephemeralness of Snapchat, and the sexual like-mindedness of a sex party. It’s like your own personal sex party in your pocket.
So here’s your challenge, dear CSP readers. We want you to try Pure and tell us all about it.
Download the app today and play with it for the next few weeks. Have fun with it, fulfill some fantasies, sample new things. See what you can do with it. Wear a wig to your date. Ask your potential partner not to share his name or any personal info with you. Agree to meet at a hotel room where you’ll be blindfolded from start to finish and never see his face. Tell him you just want someone to come over, bend you over the kitchen counter, and fuck you hard without a single word. Tell him you’re looking for someone who’d like to get his ass fucked with a strapon. Find two guys at once to set up that MFM threesome you’ve always jerked off to. Be creative, experiment, go wild. Be straightforward with your desires, be direct, be assertive. This is your chance to be whoever you want to be, without much to lose.
Of course, if the complete anonymity worries you, you can always ask your matches for names, social media profiles, and any other identifying information. If the immediacy is not paramount, you can always treat Pure the same way you would Tinder & co. But it’s nice to have the option.
After each experience, write up your story for the Casual Sex Project. The good, the bad, the confusing, the ugly…we want every little detail!
See, Pure seems like that app was made for us. But it’s a relatively new product, especially on the U.S. market, and we want to know how well it works, what’s missing, how to make it better. The Pure team is committed to building the best possible experience for the horny people of the world, but they need your feedback.
To give you an added incentive for both trying Pure and writing to us about it, we’ll be entering each Pure-related story submitted to CSP over the next month into a raffle to win an amazingly sexy goodie bag, including two sex toys from our Pure-campaign sponsor LELO, and our own special Adventure Kit developed together with the Pleasure Chest to make your hookups safer and sexier! There will be two giveaways, one for stories submitted by February 15, 2017, and one for stories submitted over the following two weeks, by March 1. You can submit as many stories as you’d like – there is only one requirement: Keep them honest and real.