by Carol

Gender: Female
Age: 55
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Michigan
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Occupation: Mom
Relationship status: Divorced
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30-40
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Quicky

How long ago did this hookup happen? 34 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friend with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was married to a man who constantly put me down. Occasionally we would travel 400 miles to visit an old Army buddy of his.  My husband was a big guy and a cop, his buddy was a small guy, easy going and mischievous. Dark eyes, beard and smie that put me at ease.  I would notice him frown when my husband made nasty comments to me.  He was always attentive to his wife.  We had visited about 5 times over the years.  One night during a visit 5 weeks after I had given birth he walked out n jeans a light blue shirt and leather vest- with that jet black hair I melted.  He would compliment me and light flirting to make me smile after my husband would crush me-especially with crude comments about my body and sex after giving birth.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On the morning we were leaving to go home his wife was at work. My husband was in the shower and I had already taken a shower and was in a robe. He was ready to go to work as soon as we left.  I was feeling low. Unsure if I would ever be attractive again since my body was now ike the “Grand Canyon”, “Royal Gorge” and you needed a 2×4 strapped to your ass to not fall in.  As I walked through the kitchen, my friend gave an encouraging wink, not sexual, but I suddenly turned around and dropped my robe. I was naked beneath.  No planning, he could have waked away.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He walked to me and quickly kissed, a good hot, tender but anxious kiss. Ran his hands down my body and we had a very quick round of sex on the sofa. For something so fast, he was incredible-he had more than I was used to and I was ecstatic. He whispered, “it must be Steve’s problem because it felt damn good to me” He asked if I was ok, I smiled and got dressed.  We left for home less than an hour later. As we said good bye he slid his hand around and gave my ass a squeeze and said awesome.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not have an orgasm, he did, which was enough for me.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No discussion of STI or pregnancy-we were both married and knew I was on birth control. This was in ’82 and not so much emphasis on safe sex. It was just not even thought of at the time.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted to be wanted and reassured I was still attractive.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No drugs or alcohol were involved.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt liberated afterwards.  I knew it was just a quickie and would never happen again.  35 years later that man is still a friend and confidant. We share everything. Years later we both ended our marriages and then remarried-however our timing was always off. We often wonder what could have been. I am now single and have been for 8 years.  He is still my buddy and would gladly give me sex if I wanted. We both know the other is safe and trust worthy.  Over the years on a handful of occasions we have hooked up, never with expectations, just two people who really enjoy sex with each other. But nothing in the last few even though we now live just a short distance apart. But I know he is there if I need him for anything.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, consensual and wanted even though unplanned and quick

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, never a regret. Was the only time I ever broke my wedding vows.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was I realized it wasn’t MY fault and that my husband was putting me down to make himself better. It was the beginning of me having confidence in myself.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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