What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Polyamorous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The first time we met led on to some of the most intense and exciting sex I’ve had in my life. He was tall, gorgeous well built with smooth skin, and some crazy funky afro hair going on. Kind, dark eyes that had a little twinkle if you looked into them long enough. We agreed to meet at a local pub after he was being sent to the area by his work for a week. We’d met on a kink hook-up site and got chatting and after a few hours of initially talking to him I knew I’d need to fuck him at some point in my life. We got along great, had similar ideas and views and our conversations always had an underlying sexual tension which was exciting. Essentially we had conversational nonsexual foreplay for about 4 months before meeting.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We’d been to the pub and had a few drinks, before he’d suggested we’d go and have a picnic on the racecourse near the hotel he was staying in. At first I was reluctant because I was a few gins down and ready to pounce, but I knew waiting and teasing myself (and him) would lead to all the better sex. We sat on a blanket on the grass, at dusk on a mild summers night and after a while I just started to innocently rub his inner thigh, whilst holding his eye and maintaining conversation with him. We didn’t kiss immediately, despite both of us wanting to. He got super hard really quickly, and I leaned on top of him as we finally started to kiss. We decided to move it to the bedroom so we packed up our stuff and set off.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Eesh! What didn’t happen? Because we’d met on a site that was intended for kinky hook ups, we’d already spoken at quite great length about things we did and didn’t like, boundaries, things we’d like to try. So at first the sex was just pure good rough sex, to get out all of that tense build up. He came quite soon after, and after lounging for about 30 mins the build up started again, this time with a few differences.
He blindfolded me gently and put me on my hands and knees on the bed, before proceeding to put two different toys up inside me, in each hole. He then made me lie down and cross my legs, and told me I shouldn’t move. Next he proceeded to massage me with this amazing smelling oil, and in between strokes he would drip some water on my back. The juxtaposition between ice cold and his warm hands was just amazing, and all my nerve endings were standing up to full attention. Suddenly, he pushed himself into my mouth, and I obliged willingly. At this point all I wanted to do was to feel him inside me, so I asked it of him. Without a seconds further hesitation, he removed the toys and put himself deep inside of me, fucking me whilst still blindfolded, leaning forward and playing with my clit at the same time. Needless to say I came pretty quickly. We both finished and I flopped onto the bed, exhausted but feeling euphoric.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I spent the night with him at the hotel, which is something I don’t usually do with casual hook ups, but I was too tired to drive back home and also I wanted to enjoy some morning sex with him. My future expectations and hopes was to continue to hook up with him (which we did, a few times further). Nowadays he’s in a monogamous relationship, but I’ll always hold a pretty sweet memory in my mind of him and that day/night/morning!
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device), Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A select few friends – they weren’t so pleased as they think my hookups sometimes are pretty reckless. ( I disagree)
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Exciting new sex with a gorgeous man
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Leaving
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? In some ways it set a new level of standard that I know now I can feel when having sex. That’s not to say I want all the sex I have to feel or be like that, but it pushed my awareness of what sex can actually be and how you can feel if you’re open to it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? As a woman who enjoys casual sex I find the role in society to be particularly damaging, especially to outspoken females who are vocal about the fact they enjoy it. I can’t believe that in some ways our society is so progressed and in other ways our society still holds things, like casual sex, as something thats only allowed to be enjoyed by a man, and spoken about by a man. I know that I’m saying nothing new about casual sex and the attitudes about it in society but in some ways I would like to see a more radically open, honest and liberating attitude held about it by both sexes ie. liking sex as a woman doesnt make you a slut, hating sex as a man doesnt make you any less of a “man”. The gender norms and stereotypes are damaging. In my opinion, when 2 people (or more) enter into casual sex with full consent and enjoyment as being one of their main motives then that’s all that needs to be said about the matter. It’s too easy to try and draw conclusions on someones whole character based on one encounter, or sexual story, when actually the sexual side to a person is only one part of a hugely coloured mosaic. To reduce someone down to a word “slag” based off the fact she might have had casual sex and enjoyed it is stupid and lets us down as humans blessed with big brains to reason and ration about the whole issue.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great! I wish I’d found it sooner.
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