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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Regrets/Tinder Mishap

How long ago did this hookup happen? Less than a month ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a short Latino man. I didn’t know him personally but we had been talking on Tinder and texting for several days. Before the hookup, I was definitely curious about him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup was back at my place. We decided to go out for drinks and nachos and met at the restaurant. I invited him back because I was curious. I didn’t intend for anything to happen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were making out on my couch after talking. He played with my tits and then took off his pants so that I could give him a blow job. After I began, I started to feel nauseous and stopped. I asked if he wanted to go to my room and after we moved he started to take me from behind with a condom. It hurt because he didn’t finger me or do anything to get me off. I should have brought out the lube but just wanted him to get off me so I told him to stop. I told him I was tired and he left. He was not a good lover.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I ghosted the person and blocked his number

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I felt like I had to

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I felt like I had to hook up with him. It made me realize why I’m engaging in casual sex and that it hasn’t felt empowering for me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it hurt during and the way I felt after.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I am not going to have sex after the first date if I don’t enthusiastically want to. I know the triggers now as a result of this hookup.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex can be really empowering.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s awesome!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!