What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 48
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? SF Bay area
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? software
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 100+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

responding to a CL listing

How long ago did this hookup happen? couple weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Unknown age, shoulder length dark hair, blue eyes. petite figure. Under thirty, don’t know actual age.
I responded to her ad, which was looking for social companion during her short visit in town, and the next day she was going to be leaving town. We met at a cafe around noon, went for a short ride on my motorcycle. Walked along the shoreline making “get to know you small talk” … I told her my name, she gave me an alias. I had no expectations about her since we had zero interaction prior to meeting. This is a good way to meet people.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When we met outside the cafe, a very strong physical vibe was present. We both stood very close to each other. I don’t think we actually touched, except my helping her with the chin strap when it got tangled in her hair.
Later, when walking on the beach, I put my hand on her back, she touched my shoulders. At one point we stood watching surfers with our arms around each other.
I suggested she follow me to my place which she agreed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I’m thinking now this story doesn’t actually merit a post. During the afternoon, and then that night when she slept over, no intercourse actually occurred. A fair amount of oral sex both ways, and lots of naked “dry” humping. It wasn’t continuous, spread throughout the day and night.
Her behavior towards me was very warm, but clearly not wanting to commit to intercourse. When I asked her why she didn’t want to, she was worried about pregnancy.
The time together from meeting, until she continued her trip and I went to work the next day was roughly 19 hours. Conversation was varied, intense at times, quite at others. At my place, we smoked some pot and told stories.
We exchanged numbers and made plans to visit on her return.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Since then, she has been travelling and we have been texting periodically.
Presumably when she’s in town we’ll see each other again.
I don’t know yet whether her texting is manipulative or honest. Time will tell.
She is an interesting and charming person, if she wants to, we’ll see each other again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? nobody.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? the spontaneity.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? the current prolonged texting vacuum.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? no.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? This was a very good “back out in the game” of interacting with women which I haven’t done since getting married 8 years ago. My wife is currently out of the state for an extended time (months). If I were to find a compatible person, I would try to create an open relation with my wife. If not, when she returns I’ll happily return to monogamy.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Most of my sexual encounters were casual – some of which led to dating.
I feel it is a challenge to be honest, and open with a person only known for a short moment. Honesty and openness are prerequisites for happiness in any context.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? great.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!