What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Australia
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Retail
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I broke up with my boyfriend the day before because he had cheated on me. I was feeling really horny and wanted a free pass to have sex with someone else as well. I wanted to make a connection and possibly get back at my ex in my own way so, I downloaded Tinder. I met this guy who had friendly brown eyes and shaggy hair. I did not want a fuckboy or someone who looked like they fucked a lot of girls. He was tall with a solid figure.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A short conversation on tinder lead to an invitation to his place. We made some small talk on his couch, exchanging stories we thought would interest each other. I was so nervous I was shaking. He went to the bathroom and when he returned, I moved over to his bed and he put on Netflix and turned off the lights. We were lying next to each other with me under his arm. I went in for the kiss.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I didn’t enjoy the way he kissed. It was too soft and a bit sloppy, so I was nervous that I wouldn’t enjoy the experience. He removed my top and unclipped my bra so seamlessly that we both commented on it and laughed. I felt for his erection, removed his pants, and sucked his dick. I asked if he had a condom and he reluctantly got one. He was definitely the biggest dick I had ever had and I was surprised it felt so good. The bonus was also that I found riding him was not tiring at all. The sex was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. When he was on top and pushing my legs back it felt so deep, and he even introduced me to a couple of positions I had never tried before and they were so good. The way he handled me and placed me in the position he wanted was a massive turn on. It felt so passionate.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He seemed like a really nice guy. I was surprised when I got home that he sent me a text seeing if I made it ok. It was definitely the best sex I’d ever had, but I felt a little bit guilty because I had recently broken up with my ex and things were happening really fast. We texted a few times after which led to more hookups. We stopped using condoms because there was a lot of mutual trust.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, Revenge / Getting even
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend and my sister. They were impressed that I did it but warned me to be careful.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was passionate and I felt as though he knew all the positions I loved. I like rough sex and he gave me that. It felt like a mutual exchange of pleasure.ff
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The first time was great. But it got more confusing with mixed messages as we kept seeing each other. A couple of times we went out for drinks and bowling which confused what he wanted from me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Casual sex started to feel like a possibility for me. I felt pretty confident and great about myself. But after we hooked up over the next two months, I felt too emotional to handle it. I felt like he only wanted me for sex and didn’t like my personality and it started to shatter my self-esteem. I didn’t see things getting better so I had to walk away.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I feel as though I was not emotionally ready for friends with benefits. I can’t handle how confusing and complicated this sort of relationship gets. I don’t think I was strong enough for it and I don’t think he liked me as a person.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think some things should be kept private to avoid scrutiny. There is way less emotion and passion in a one night stand. But the first time we had sex there was so much that we both went back for more. Friends with benefits doesn’t work because relationships are so messy.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is a place of self-expression and you get to know how real people think. it helps you re-conceptualize what is normal.
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