What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Experimental
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Revenge With Husband’s Best Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? Today
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Over 6 feet, white, 40. We’ve known each other 20 years. He has been my husband’s best friend since childhood. We’ve always been able to have interesting conversations but neither had considered each other sexually because we’re both married. Also, he was a groomsman in our wedding.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My husband is a raging alcoholic. He also has bipolar and refuses to take his meds. He accuses me of cheating. If I leave for work 10 minutes early to get coffee he says “Go fuck 15 guys. I know you want to.” He’s also physically abusive a few times a year. I left for 2 weeks and he turned into a stalker. I’d been reaching out to friends and family to help intervene. My husband’s best friend, I’ll call him B, had really been emotionally supportive to me, trying to talk sense into my husband and coming over right away when he was out of control. One night during our texting I said “He accuses me of cheating daily. I’m already guilty in his mind. I may as well do it!” And another time “No more good wifey.” And he replied “Right.” I’d been growing sexually frustrated because the excessive alcohol was causing ED. Over the next few days I texted B how much I appreciated him trying to help. Our messages were borderline flirtatious like, did he mean it that way? Very playful. Finally I said I owe you a favor. He said no you don’t. I said you’re no fun. He said he’d try. I asked if he had a favor in mind. I was definitely the instigator.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I texted him that I was going to the grocery store if he wanted to meet up. We drove separately to a boat launch by the river. He got out of his vehicle into mine. It was awkward and we avoided eye contact and laughed. I knew it was now or never so I leaned over and began kissing him. Then the police pulled up behind us but then left. This interrupted us and again we were nervous. Back to kissing with tounge, groping etc. The vehicle was very uncomfortable for this. I was sucking on a cherry red lollipop because my mouth was dry from being nervous. I clawed at his shorts and told him to unzip them. He was perfectly average and I began kissing, licking and sucking. I’d told him in an earlier text that I like my hair pulled and he’d replied “Aw shit. It’s all good.” and now he held my hair while thrusting my face up and down. I gagged a couple times but was really into it. He told me he was about to cum and I swallowed like half. We smiled and made awkward small talk before going our separate ways.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel zero guilt. I hope he doesn’t either and that he’ll be interested in meeting up again and even taking it a step further.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Revenge / Getting even
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I feel alive.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Risky.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m surprised I had it in me and that I don’t feel guilty.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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