What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Wiccan / Pagan
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was my roommates colleague. Blond, pale guy, somewhat small. We went out on a party with friends and my roomates and it was already planned that they sleep over at our flat. As we came back I showed him that I’m waiting for him in my room.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There was no planning involved, he just followed me in my room. We made sure nobody else sees us.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We wanted to have sex but we didn’t have condoms so we had oral sex. He tried to convince me to have sex without a condom which I didn’t want. He even got inside me during foreplay and tried to convince me to keep going as it was already inside. But unfortunately I had not enough self-esteem to throw him out for that. After that we pretended nothing happened. Worst mistake was to accept this guy as a roommate. First it was all fun and games, causally hooking up when we needed a break from learning. Then he started acting like an asshole (as a roommate). When he had a girlfriend it got worse. We acted like nothing ever happened but he treated me in a negative, passive-aggressive way for no reason. Then when he had the chance he kicked me out of the flat.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was at least hoping to be treated as a human being after the sexual relationship. Instead he kicked me out of my room and didn’t even pay me the money he owes me. I hate him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend and my brother
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? He didn’t respect me and he even tried to penetrate me without a condom against my will. And he kicked me out of my flat.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was easy as he was living in the same flat.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I paid a high price for some fun
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it reinforced the trust issues towards men. It made me see that many men want sex with a slut but want a relationship with a virgin and this disgusting hypocrisy. But I learned how to distinguish good from bad people and make friends with the right people on the long term.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to change the hypocrisy of how women and men are supposed to have sex. If people like to hook up, it’s their choice and there is no reason to blame women on making the same things that men also do.
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