Race/ethnicity: white British
Location: Brighton, UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Care Worker
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 24
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
How long ago did this hookup happen? summer 2013
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? one night fling
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a 30 year old musician, of Mexican parentage but raised in California. I met him at a warehouse party in Santa Barbara and was instantly attracted to his beautiful long hair. He had a Devendra Banhart vibe and I was immediately sold.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We started talking at the bar of the party. I think he was digging my British accent as much as I was digging his Californian hippie thing. I can’t remember what we talked about now, we were both fairly drunk. He knew the guy who owned the warehouse and took me to see the recording studio he had. I chilled and drank as he played guitar for a while. Then we had a dance in the main party room where we made out for a while before decided to walk back to his place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We stayed up pretty much all night and morning having sex, talking about music, performing oral sex, contemplating life. All the usual cliched stuff.
At one point he attempted to slip it up the butt with no warning and then apologized profusely for his “mistake” when I wasn’t digging it.
I didn’t cum but I really enjoyed the evening. I think it was a pretty shallow encounter. I thought he summed up this romanticised stereotype of the Californian hippie with his big sexy beard and long hair. And I’m pretty sure he was happy to be able to check off ‘British chick’ on his fuck list. So it was a mutual and fun kind of shallowness.
I had to catch a greyhound bus to LA the next morning with a friend I had ditched for this guy the evening before. She understood though, she knew about my Devendra Banhart thing. Anyway, he walked me to the train station, and in the sober light of day he still looked as attractive as I’d thought the night before which was a bonus.
He managed to find me on facebook and sent me a message declaring how much he wish he could travel on a magic carpet of sorts to England to come hang out with me, but that he’d never forget our night. Typical musician/poet! It was a lovely way to end a cliched one night stand though. So go him for making a stupid Mills and Boon moment real!
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms when we were properly going at it, but played around with ‘light penetration’ without protection.
We didn’t discuss STI history.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? When travelling I think it’s easier to loosen up. This was coming towards the end of a year in America so I think I just wanted to squeeze as much into my last few weeks as possible.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol yes. He was smoking weed too.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It’s a fond memory. It makes me laugh how ridiculously cliched it was. I’m glad it happened.
He added me to facebook but we don’t keep in contact. I think it’s best that way.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? quite a few friends, if the subject arose. They mainly just thought it sounded very typical of me.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes I’d say so. Apart from the ‘accidental’ butt moment. But he stopped when he saw I wasn’t down with it.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? nope.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best: it’s a fond memory of my time in California
Worst: bailing on my friends for a one night stand was pretty shitty of me.
No I wouldn’t say so. It was a positive experience and I think it was a healthy one too. Though condoms should have been used more thoroughly.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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