What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Netherlands
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
Second time – Better Than the last
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 Day
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Well, the lady was 23, quite short (Maybe 1,70-1,80), middle long brown hair. Charming smile. Playful personality. With a dog. We got to know each other through OkCupid. She had a profile only for hookups because she is in an open long-distance marriage. I just wrote her that her profile screams like sex and then I asked her a question about her profile. So, yeah, she responded that she likes to answer me in person. A week or so later she did. We met at a public place, she had her dog with her. We took a short walk. I felt nervous because I only had one not so joyful sexual encounter in my life. I felt comfortable and good about her. She looked as in the pictures and we could get along well.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? In her shared apartment. Her roommate just left and we’ve gone to her bedroom. I ask her if she had condoms and told her that I have my own for the right size. I grabbed them. She found that sweet. Then we sat on the bed and she instructed me, which was awesome.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started touching each other. Making out (first time for me), it all went really slowly which was super nice. At one point she sat on top of me and exposed her wonderful breasts. However, I was worried, because in my first sexual encounter I couldn’t get an erection and I feared that here too. Well, the wonderful breast and the sitting on my cock didn’t cause anything there. I was a bit distracted by that and too much in my head. I think she noticed and focused again on that I pleasure her to give me time to relax. I kissed her, explored her breasts with my mouth. She really seemed to like it. At some point, we were both only in our underwear and I took my time to caress her body with my hands and to sucked on her tits until I reached with one hand inside her pants. I was really in a hypnotic state where I could forget everything. However, as I removed my underwear and she started to get my cock hard with her mouth it did not work. She smiled at me and ensured me that it doesn’t matter to her. Sex is not only about getting hard. She also told me that it still can feel good to get my cock sucked without an erection. I had to agree it felt good. And at some point, it felt really good. In fact, I had an erection, which I didn’t even notice until she said to me that I should grab one of my condoms. She put it on and sucked a bit on my cock, the set on top of me and let it slip inside.
It felt warm and good, but I didn’t really felt any traction and after some time it turned out that my cock was soft again. She said it doesn’t matter and asked if I want to stroke her pussy again. Of course, I wanted. She gave me exact instructions and in the end, I penetrated her with my index finger until she had according to her a fantastic orgasm (and I could really feel her muscles tensing). I was just fascinating to watch this beautiful woman lying there in front of me, fully naked, moaning in pleasure. I felt happy making her happy. After she orgasmed, she instructed me to cuddle with her and she told me how good her orgasm was. We lay there for some time until she asked me to tell her the time. Then we took on our clothes. In general, we laughed a lot during the encounter. It was all very playful. She told me that I am funny. She was really a bliss. Very caring, very understanding human being. We hugged and I ask her if she might want to do it again and ask for her number. She said that I can write her my number on OkCupid and she will contact me if she feels like it again. She doesn’t like to plan. Whatever, I really loved the encounter even though I didn’t have an orgasm, it kind of eased my anxiety of not performing well. I couldn’t have chosen a better person to have my “second” time with.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I left. I’ve gone back to my place and I don’t know, I felt happy. Happy but also slightly confused and yeah, I didn’t expect things turned out so good. Today I am just happy with the encounter. I am also a bit worried if she may lie to me about how good it was for her. She hasn’t yet contacted me again. Which is totally fine. I would like to do it again with her and to learn from her as she is much more experienced than I am. I feel happy for her. She has a relationship that does not work for many people.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Until now only you guys.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Her happiness and playfulness. We both didn’t take things too seriously. At one point the light automatically shut down and we just had to giggle. Another time her hair fell back into my face again and again even after she bund it together with a hair rubber, the rubber came off. It was just funny and happy.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I guess that I could not get hard.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I am less focused on penetrative sex. And I know that I can enjoy sex without being in love. And I guess that I am a lot more attractive than I think I am. And that being nice pays out.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? More openness. More understanding. More compassion. For all sexualities, preferences, practices. And respect + non-judgment about them. People who have a lot of sex are totally fine and people who have and want none are also fine.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Awesome.
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