What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Melbourne
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Vaguely artistic type
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Heteroflexible, sluttily opportunistic
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 75
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 1/2 years
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Male, early 20s. Fairly tall, blond, and slender, with a fit build. Not precisely handsome, but with a wicked grin which I found very sexy. I knew him reasonably well, but not necessarily on an intimate emotional level, we were former coworkers who had met at work. We had hooked up on two occasions before, shortly after I left the workplace. We had a strange rapport of being the same in our sexual attitudes, but vastly different in other ways: he was a creature of chaos, whereas I am more precise, and my thinking tends to be quite structured. He was refreshing and fun, and very uncomplicated in the way we interacted, though the attraction between us was enough for him to be on my mind quite a bit at the time.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This particular hook-up happened in my backyard. We had agreed to meet up in town and go to my place, which carried with it the implication that we would have sex at some point during the visit. Our interaction wasn’t immediately sexual though, as we just sat with some beers and talked about life and our relationships, past and present. He asked me about a relatively recent traumatic experience that I’d had alluded to, and worked through it with me, vindicating my position, but also learning about my attitudes. I have been known to talk in colourful metaphors, and when I came out with one, he scooted close with a laugh, saying that he enjoyed that everything I saw makes such sense, considering that everything about him is nonsense. It put us in a place where we were feeling quite comfortable with each other. I wandered off briefly to take care of something else, and when I came back, he drew me into his arms and kissed me. Things heated up pretty quickly, and he suggested that what with it being a balmy night, perhaps we should have sex outside. I agreed with a laugh.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was spooning me as we were standing up, and we semi-undressed each other like that, though none of our clothes actually came clear off. At his direction, I bent over and braced myself over the garden furniture, and he slid into me from behind, reaching full hardness a few strokes in. We talked to each other in a whisper, as our privacy wasn’t complete. He moved slowly, and I climbed slowly towards orgasm as we checked in with each other, making sure it was feeling good for both of us. I had been in a slightly dark place from our preceding conversation, but by then, I had relaxed fully, and was enjoying the heady feel of it. My first orgasm hit, perhaps not as powerful as I might usually come, but my partner knew a thing or two about my erogenous zones, and timed running his fingers over my happy spots perfectly, so I came again, harder. If I had been a place where I could have let loose on the noise front, I would have screamed at that moment. The same was true for the next few (maybe three or four) orgasms I had as he moved inside me.
During a lull, he leaned in closer to my ear and asked if I had ever had an MFF threesome (he knew I’d done MFF). When I said no, he asked if I would like to. I said yes to that. He increased his pace a little, saying that if I found the second guy, he’d be game. He added that they would concentrate on making me feel amazing, and that he suspected I’d do well by them as well, as I seemed to know what I was doing.
He pulled out for a moment, and asked me to go down on him. I sat in one of the garden chairs to do so, and was pleasantly struck by the taste of my juices on him. This didn’t go on too long though, as he crouched himself in front of my chair, and asked me to scoot forward. Like that, we went back to intercourse. Moments into that round, I fell into extended orgasm, which I have so far only managed to achieve a few times. It’s a concept which used to be referred to as ESO (Extended Sexual Orgasm), but has since then been renamed as EMO (Extended Massive Orgasm), and is set apart by being something one can maintain for up to an hour or more. Those who teach it though insist that it can’t be achieved through intercourse. I beg to differ, though I admit that mine tended to last maybe five minutes, which is plenty intense. This was the first time I had it with a casual partner, though I had had it often enough to know exactly what was happening. As I climbed into that climax, it felt imperative that I tell him what was going on. I told him how the feeling was spreading through my entire body, along my nervous system, and into my skull. I could feel his excitement mounting as he sped up and held me tighter. I climbed ever higher, until time seemed to lose all meaning or relevance, only briefly reflecting that he was clearly making me feel very safe and cared for.
He withdrew, explaining that this was as far as he could go without coming, his voice apologetic. In my convulsions, I told him that was fine, and that I’d need a bit of time to come down. “Go right ahead,” he said with a chuckle as he buttoned up and settled in the chair next to mine. I still spent a good two minutes in climax before I started to come down, only twitching on occasion. By the time I had recovered, he was smoking a leisurely post-coital cigarette, and explaining that there are times when he prefers not to come, as it would be too emotionally intense to handle, especially when the sex is really good, which this time was for him. I nodded in my dreamy fumble to get my clothes back on properly, and finished my beer. We still talked for a while afterwards.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We actually went for a second round that evening, during which we bantered and laughed a lot, and he ended up coming. After he left, and the following day, I felt like something had fallen into place with my world, though it had nothing to do with my expectations of him: I knew him to be easily distracted, and knew very well that this could have been the last time. Still, we did catch up again maybe a month later, and hook up. After that, he moved to another city, and we kept in very loose and occasional contact. I haven’t seen him since then. I think well of him, and am glad for the fling we had.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I may have told a few close friends about it, though not in great detail. It wasn’t a big deal, simply part of my life. One of my friends, who is a bit more conservative than me, may have had a vicarious thrill.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was friendly and uncomplicated, and it rates very high in the orgasm and comfort stakes.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing, really.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I may have felt a little better about myself afterwards, as I was on the tail end of working out some emotional debris at the time, but for the most part, I don’t think it changed much.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very positive
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No, I think I’ve covered everything.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is simply a facet of friendship for me. I think it’s a shame that society’s view of sex is still a bit narrow, that a lot of people seem to treat it either as love, or glorified masturbation in which people just use each other. I think it’s a pity, as there is a lot of lovely middle ground.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s intriguing, I haven’t looked at it that closely yet, but it’s nice that there’s some more discourse about it. It’s worth seeing the full palette of people’s experiences, rather than just what society expects our experiences to be.
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