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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? South America
What country and/or city do you live in? Lima
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Law student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Sex on New Year’s Eve
How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s tall, really good-looking. He has black hair, he also has a beard. We met online on Tinder, we talked for about 6 months before meeting. I couldn’t really meet him before because I was going out with another guy and at the time I thought I might be in a relationship with that guy so I was just flirting with guys online but never actually meeting them. We met on New Year’s Eve, he picked me up from a party I went. I didn’t feel anything towards him. I just wanted to have sex with someone and I trusted him enough to have sex with him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was a little planned. We talked on December 31st about meeting and having sex but there wasn’t any concrete plan. When the party got a little bit boring, I called him to pick me up (I was also horny at the time) and he lives a few blocks away so he went with his car. He called me telling me he was outside the buiding and I went downstairs to meet him. I instigated it because I was the one who was incredibly horny and he probably saw an opportunity to have sex.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was a little bit drunk at the time (fyi I gave consent and was totally aware of every decision that I made), and told him I didn’t want to fuck, I wanted only oral. He promised he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want and then we went to a hotel. We did only oral. He’s amazing at it, he’s an amazing lover overall. He made me squirt, and I didn’t even know I could do that. I came like 5 times that night. He was super respectful towards me (and that’s how later on he became a friend with benefits til this day).
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We were so tired we fell asleep cuddling. He told me some stories about him and so did I. It was a great night. He picked me up in his car the night before, so in the morning he drove me and dropped me off at my parents house. I had an amazing night so we decided to keep meeting every time he was in the city. (He lives in another country for work, but he comes back every month and half or two months). I feel like he’s one of my friends that I can fuck. We have an amazing relationship in the sense that I can trust him. We’re really open tp each other about our own sex lives. Everytime we decide to meet, beforehand we take exams to detect any STDs and show each other the results. We always use protection because neither of us wants to have kids in the near future.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Fertility awareness (days counting, temperature), Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, Submission / Relinquishing power, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To my best friend. And she knows I have had hookups with people before so it wasn’t a surprise.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex and meeting a friend, who’s also someone I can have safe sex with.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing actually.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, now I think casual sex can be fun if you do it with the right person. And that person needs to know that it’s plain casual sex. When everyone involved knows the situation, it won’t create confusion.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I got to meet someone who’s a good friend. He’s an amazing person but he has commitment issues and can’t stay faithful in a relationship. So he’s someone who I would never see myself being in a relationship with and that contributes to us just being friends with benefits.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I generally surround myself with people who are open about their sexuality and how they express it, so I am always in a enviroment where I can be myself and share my stories without judgement. But I have met some people who have overheard my stories and called me different names (I think you can guess it) just for the sake of judging me but never actually getting to know me. Casual sex in an element that it’s present in our society and I think if we could reinforce the idea of safe sex even in situations like casual sex even when the two (or more people) are horny enough not to care, could benefit everyone. The importance of safe sex needs to be addressed and not shame the people who choose to have casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s an amazing project that highlights the casual sex culture in the world.
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