by Rayanne

Gender: Female
Age: 19
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Ireland
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Relationship status: Open relationship
Religious affiliation: Raised Catholic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Sex With a Crush

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last month

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I had a huge crush on this boy- slightly effeminate, likes wearing scarves, longish light brown hair, very cute and flirtacious. We’d never hooked up before- he was a friend of my boyfriend, they were in the same class at school. I met him through a uni society- we’re in the same college.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were at a friends house smoking joints when I offered to blow it into his mouth and then asked him to come closer to me. I kissed him almost without thinking (our friend was sitting beside us awkwardly) before he pulled away to inhale. We went back inside where our friend got a glass of water and we started kissing again, more passionately this time, grinding up against each other and feeling each other up with me on top. When my friend came back he was like- we were just having a cuddle! Later we left his house and sat outside where we kissed some more- and when he said he was really turned on we went back to mine.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He undressed immediately and started to take my clothes off. He was a good lover- we had intercourse three times in different positions. (We would have done more if we had had more condoms). He talked dirty to me when I asked him to and he asked me what I was into and what my favourite positions were. He then licked me out and started asking me to come into his mouth. I felt exhilarated until I let the words “I love you” slip out of my mouth- I then started apologising but he was good about it. He was funny and started putting on a farmer voice to make me laugh “Don’t you wanna be licked out by a farmer?” After sex we talked about philosophical bullshit.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? He came three times inside me and I came once- from him licking me out and from fingering my clit.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms and we did discuss.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I really really like him

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had both smoked a joint each

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt bad about telling him that I love him. I still think about him and that night and wish that we could kiss again (at least).

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my friends and my boyfriend (who wasn’t thrilled and who hates him now for it).

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes consensual and wanted for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? A tiny bit (because I’ve developed feelings for him) but I’m happy that someone so gorgeous would have sex with me

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had sex with someone who I’m obsessed with- I’ve learnt that casual sex can bring up big emotions and that it can be a positive thing.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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