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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 51
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Fairfield, CT USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Holistic Health Practitioner
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation:
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? over 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Sex With A Swinger

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? James was in his mid-50s, fit and attractive, about 5’10” with dark hair. We met via Tinder, so we were strangers when we met for the first time at a bar. I felt very nervous because this was my first hookup with a stranger since my marriage had ended about a year and a half ago.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He had a profile describing that he was a swinger looking for a single female (unicorn) to accompany him to events and travel with him. I was intrigued. He sent me a text. I responded and we texted for a bit. Then we talked on the phone and then we had video sex via Kik.

One week later we met at a bar. I was very nervous but we talked and had a drink. We had a connection and shared a sense of humor

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went back to my place and he immediately undressed. I was still pretty nervous because I was brand new to the hookup scene and had never been with a swinger.

He started licking my pussy and it felt good but he was energetic and his pace was a little fast for me. I asked him to slow down but he kept speeding up. So it wasn’t great.

The really fun part was that he was rough and a little kinky. He grabbed me by the hair when we were fucking and when I was sucking him. At one point, he put his hands around my throat like he was choking me, which really turned me on. He also shoved his cock down my throat, which I loved. We fucked in some great positions – I was lying on my side and he slid down next to me, raised my leg in the air and shoved his cock in me. He was able to last a long time. Just before he was going to come, he would tell me to stop moving so he could last longer. He told me he can fuck for 2 -3 hours if he doesn’t come!

At one point, he was behind me and starting licking my asshole. I had never experienced this before so I was surprised, and I liked it! Then he put his cock in my ass and starting fucking me while he was spanking me. I loved it and it was my first intro into kinky sex, which I would later pursue more in depth.

I had mixed emotions during the hookup. I was definitely nervous but enjoyed the newness of many things my partner did and it felt good to be fucked.

I felt awkward at the end because I didn’t know what to do next, I asked him what happens next and he said it was up to me. I must admit that it felt somewhat hollow and empty because of the lack of emotional connection.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I felt sad because there was no emotional connection. I was hoping to go to some events and travel with him but after a few months it never ended up happening. I felt like I was being strung along. We no longer talk because I decided to end it with him. We met one last time so I could tell him in person that casual sex wasn’t for me. He said he understood but then tried to have sex with me before he left even though I just told him that casual sex made me feel bad. I was really angry afterward and the next day sent him a text telling him how upset I was. I don’t think he really cared.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told some friends. I think they were uncomfortable because he was married, even though it was an open marriage. One of my friends freaked out.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I was expecting to go to events and travel with this person and it never happened.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The kinky aspect ofx the sex

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I realized in the end that he only cared about himself and had very little regard for me as a person.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m glad I experienced it because it made me realize that I like kinky sex and I then began to explore the world of BDSM.

I now realize that some people into casual sex may be manipulative and strictly out for themselves. I think this guy was guilty of “false advertising” on his Tinder profile when he said he was looking for a travel and event partner.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is fine between consenting adults. I have no problem with it or open relationships, swinging or hooking up. I’m not sure it’s for me though but I wish it was because I’m extremely horny!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!