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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? South Luzon
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Business woman
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? None
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Sex With My Husband’s Best Friend

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years and 6 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is tan, 5’6, and his sharp nose is his greatest asset. My biggest weakness is men with a sharp nose which is why I felt so attracted to him when my husband introduced us. We secretly met at a resort in our city. I felt so guilty because I enjoy having sex with him more than my husband.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It began when he stayed in our hometown for 2 days to see me. We secretly met in a resort located in our city but far from our town proper. He had said that he wanted to have sex with me before going out of the country and I gave him what he wanted.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?  I just laid down in bed and he stayed on top the whole time. I was so horny, but at the same time, I was very shy because it was my first time with him.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? I don’t know

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt proud because I saw that I had gotten farther with him than my sister had, who is also his ex-girlfriend. I still felt guilty because I cheated on my husband and I realized that I was putting myself and my kids in danger. I did not want to do it again because it felt too unfair.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, Submission / Relinquishing power, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my sister about it, but she was shocked and angry with me for being with her ex. She also couldn’t believe that I would cheat on my husband. In my social circle, people see me as conservative.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I shouldn’t have let my physical attraction become a reason for cheating.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing about the hookup was that I experienced what it was like to be with my longtime crush.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst is the guilt that I feel when I remember that I have a husband and kids.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I do not know.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He is staying in our hometown again. Sometimes, he goes to my work just to see me. Sometimes, I feel scared because my husband will find out.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It is not nice to see a married woman having casual sex. The feeling is so good, but it brings a lot of guilt.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is an easy way to share an experience because there are guided questions. I also read different stories from other people so that I can learn lessons.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!