by Ann Wiggins
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 55
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Very straight indeed – no desire at all for women’s bodies
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25 or so
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Sex After Years of Forced Celibacy
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2017
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Met on Bumble. Attractive guy in his 30s. Unambitious with a blue collar job. I was feeling bored over the holidays and he started straight in with the sexting on the app. Usually I unmatch immediately, but he was very appealing looking and kind of shameless in a cool way, not sleazy. I felt pursued hotly. One big thing for him was that I have a full bush. I refuse to shave or wax, I think it is horrible to look like a child down there. I like the punctuation of my beautiful woman’s body, the dark curls marking the spot. The novelty definitely excited him and motivated him to pursue me. He had never had a woman with a bush before.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He kept asking me to take my clothes off and show him pictures. I know this is fairly normal these days, but I was alone at home and it felt sexy and novel to me. It turned me on. He wanted to meet me to have real sex. I said I would meet him in a bar to see if we fancied each other. It is pretty rare for me to fancy any guy of any age. So I chose a bar and we met and had a very normal conversation about our lives and a couple of drinks. I had no feeling he fancied me until he asked to come back to my place. Men do fancy women from pictures. I don’t know until I meet someone.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We drove back to my place. He immediately wanted me to put on stockings and heels, so I went upstairs and did that and fetched some condoms. Then we went into a spare room and made out. I sat on the bed and undid his jeans, and found he was wearing no underwear. His cock was pretty hard already just from looking at me, which turned me on too. He shaved his body and head all over, and was covered in golden stubble which felt interesting. I think he had not really thought we would have sex, so had not shaved himself recently, And he hadn’t brought condoms either. Luckily I had some. He was very good about using a condom. The sex was very hot indeed. I still make myself come thinking about him pounding me from behind, him standing up while I knelt leaning forward on the bed with my stockings, shoes and bra still on. We both came very hard, and then collapsed into the bed and cuddled each other. He was quickly ready to go again, and this time we did 69 with him rimming me (which I had never gone before, it was fantastic). I sucked him off and then gave him a hand job to finish. Then we cuddled a bit more. Then he got up and left. I certainly did not want to sleep with him, although I slept with my longer term lover.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He went home. I wanted him to come back for more sex. He didn’t. I found that baffling. Why, if you have a fabulous time, do you not want to do it again? I have never had a true ONS before where it went incredibly well, but the guy didn’t want to repeat it. I have had an ONS where I didn’t want to repeat it. So this was a novelty. I felt annoyed as I hoped I had found a regular thing, but soon got over it. It was a good thing really as there was not mental connection, let alone emotional. The memory of the very hot sex lives on in my masturbatory dreams. I got him to send me a selfie, so I can remember his good looks too.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The very hot sex. His nice cock and beautiful toned body. His delight in my full bush and the shape and feel of my body.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That he didn’t want to do it again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Just encouraged me to be myself, a beautiful, sexual woman who is attractive to men of any age.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He was for me what is known as ‘a bit of rough’ in this country. I got to know a bit about his family and relationships beforehand, as I am always interested. But it didn’t make any difference. We just wanted to fuck each other’s brains out during the quiet period over the holidays. To escape from family and behave like animals. He was only the third guy I have slept with since I ended a long period of celibacy following an abusive marriage, and another stepping stone on my way to refinding myself as a desirable woman. So all good.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have always been free in my approach to sex. Felt even when I was very young that sex is fine, and that each person needs to decide what kind of sex to have with whom. There was a lot of sexism when I was young, a lot of judgement of women, gays etc which I thought was stupid and wrong. Now I am older, I would probably be judged by society for sleeping with men without commitment. I don’t care. I tried the whole good girl, monogamous, faithful marriage thing, and much good it did me. My ex was a useless, selfish boring lover, who never got how much I love stockings, corsets and lingerie and how interesting sex could be. He was also abusive and a sponger. I had the children, so don’t regret it, but do regret not leaving much earlier and finding a partner I was sexually compatible with. I wouldn’t rule out a lot more adventurous stuff either. I love sex, and men’s bodies – I am about as straight as you can be though, not interested sexually in women’s bodies at all. I intend to do it a whole lot more. I would love a relationship, but the guy would have to be so special. An abusive marriage was very grim, and put me off men for years. Having a few casual partners has restored my faith in my attractiveness and made me much happier and more aware of my body. I have learned so much about my own body, about men’s bodies, about sex in general, understanding it now as play, as the reproductive element is long gone. I feel beautiful – I do look pretty amazing, and my body, which is slender but extremely curvaceous with a small waist – has found an appreciative audience for the first time in my life. How cool is it to be told you have a cracking arse by your younger lover, when you literally didn’t know it was there? It is rather an amazing change for me and has removed much of the pain and frustration of forced celibacy from my mind.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is really interesting. Happy to join in. Completely aligns with my own thoughts and feelings about sex between consenting adults. Just get on with it but without hurting yourself or anyone else, and everything will be fine. And be safe!
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