What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Medical Doctor
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Shadowing A Resident…..All. Night. Long
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Short on clinical shadowing hours, I had set up a sort of medi-cation to shadow at some clinics during one of our University’s breaks in interesting parts of the country. I had organized a few days at a clinic in a rural coastal setting. There was nothing or no one new there. The misty salt air had eroded any signs of freshness.
I first met the resident (A) during a formalized meet and greet in her office. I had a hard time imaging how youth could survive in such bygone setting. I had drank waaaaaaaay too much coffee that morning and was very much inside my own head trying to maintain eye contact and pay attention. My attention and body were firing way too quickly to flow with someone whose neurons were not poppin’. Ironically, she later told me that she interpreted my intense eye contact as a signal of interest.
After a bit of professional small talk, I asked her what I should do socially in town. She mentioned a restaurant, wrote it on a notepad, and then casually added that maybe she would join me if she got off work early enough. The scene was set!
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met up at the restaurant, ate oysters together, made each other laugh. Once finished with our meal, we lingered outside both hesitant to make the next move. I half heartedly suggested another bar. She mentioned that she also has alcohol at her place. I seized the opening agreeing to that plan.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? No liquor was drank at her place but there was a lot of making out initially on the beach in a bed of seaweed. We eventually swapped the seaweed bed for her bed. The mood was almost killed right before penetration when she advocated for a condom by saying that she “does not want to get syphilis as it is on the rise.”
The actual sex was lukewarm as both of us were unfamiliar with one another’s bodies. I have always found sex with a condom unsatisfactory. Halfway through, she got on top, started grinding my dick onto her clit and willing herself to an orgasm. Not exactly alchemical sex. But really what kind of chemistry can one expect having met that day?
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I didn’t want to be the guy who fucks and bolts, but……..she started to give clear indications that I was not welcome to stay the night. Besides I couldn’t exactly wear the same clothes the next day to work. So, I went back to my hotel, listening to Simon and Garfunkel, and appreciating the good fortune of my day.
I was somewhat awkward at work the next day not wanting to appear overly friendly as to jeopardize anyone’s reputation. I may have overcompensated and come off as cold to her. I texted her on my way out of town thanking her for the night together and wishing her the best. I will probably never see her again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few of my friends. They were encouraging. It had been 6 months since I broke up with my girlfriend and last had sex.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? She was only my second sex partner. Part of the reason that I ended my previous relationship is that she was the only sex partner I had ever had. I got started sexually very late at 26 and was seeking: The Varieties of the Sexual Experience.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The actual sex was not very good.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It re-enforced a positive self image for myself as an attractive sexual creature. Not having sex for so long in my early 20s, I came to view myself as not sexually viable. Perhaps others could sense that. I felt a partial pressure lifted having shared an experience that so many others have, the one night stand.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I was quite interested in her body. It was stout and curvy, a stark contrast from eX who was petite. I had longed for large breast when I was with my eX, but being face with them now I gained an appreciation for the subtleties of each body types. I could not believe how heavy her breast were! The actual number of sex positions are much more limited with a fuller figure partner. I gained retrospective appreciation for the limberness of my eX.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? You usually have to use condoms and you don’t know the person very well. That sucks.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Its great. I love reading about The Varieties of the Sexual Experiences. I wish more posts would read more nuance and less like letters to Playboy. Not everyone you hook up with has fat double DD’s and tight pussies.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!