by Amber

Gender: Female
Age: 35
Race/ethnicity: Hispanic
Location: Colorado
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Administrative Assistant
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: none
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? N/A
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none

Shy Engineer Student

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years ago and still goes on

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies/booty call

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is eight years younger than me. He is tall and has a cute face. Four years ago when we first met his body was really hot and athletic. He still plays softball as a hobby and even though he has gained some pounds he is still attractive and elegant. I met him at a friend’s house four years ago. I found him really cute the first time I saw him, but he was super shy. I kept seen him at that friend’s house, but he never approached me. I felt sexually attracted to him before the hookup.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We first made out at my friend’s graduation party. He approached me and danced with me all night. We did not hook up. We just made out. Both of us were really drunk. He asked for my phone number the morning  after.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We hooked up six months after we first made out. Yes he is/was really shy and he just texted me all the time. One night he texted me and came to my old apartment and we hooked up. That first time it was really weird. I did not have an orgasm. He was really bad in bed. After that, I went to study abroad for one year, but he kept texting and he even called me during that year. When I came back two years ago, he texted again. Since then, we have been hooking up for two years. I have taught him many things, and he has learned a lot of how to please a woman. He is still learning, and he is not yet an amazing lover. We are just friends with benefits. He knows I am 8 years older than him. Sometimes he stays overnight, and I cook breakfast for him. Sometimes he invites me for dinner, and sometimes we get drunk together. No it is not a relationship, we do this only once a week or every two weeks. In the meantime I have dated other people, but I haven’t had a serious relationship. I do not know if he has dated other women. We do not do any other social things besides the ones I mentioned. Right now he works as an engineer for a company.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I take my birth control pill and most of the time he uses condoms.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was attracted to him at first. I am really sexual. I love sex. Since I am not in a relationship, I prefer to have sex with him than go and have sex with random men every night.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? The first time we hooked up no alcohol was involved. Sometimes we get drunk together.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We usually talk as a normal couple before and after each hook up. We even talk about our families, jobs, and friends even though we have not met them.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only four of my closest friends know about it. They are surprised and amazed about how long this friends with benefits thing has lasted.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was/is consensual.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all. I think I am also learning with him. I have learned a lot about my sexuality, body, and feelings.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing – It still goes on.  
Worst thing – Weird sex the first time. I am very open minded about friends with benefits and relationships that do not involve love feelings.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!