What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? New Zealander
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Bunbury
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Cafe worker
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Appreciative of women
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 62
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Sleeping With a Married Man

How long ago did this hookup happen? Once

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him in a small rural mining town , his wife and children lived in the next town over. I always thought he was attractive and that something about him was sexy. He was dark hair brown eyes cute smile. I thought he was a bit of a dick before that as I’d heard things about him cheating on his wife.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had a party at home alot of people turned up being a tiny town I knew eventually he’d show up , and he did. We talked a few times throughout the night until the party ended around 2 am when everyone was too plastered. Then my sister and I and him were left there, we all decided to go for a drive up the road to another party that was happening. We drank a bit more there, as that party was finishing up and it was just him, the lady that lived at that house, and my sister. We were all very intoxicated by then. There was no plan, but I could tell he wanted me the way he kept smiling at me giving me those eyes, and then he followed me out for a smoke and I asked him if he had anything to drink at his place. I knew his wife and kids lived in the next town over and he lived in this town because the ran his business. He said he had drinks and smokes which we had run out of so him and I went straight to his car and left without telling my sister. She ended up walking home alone because the home was five minutes away.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We drank a few drinks at his house. He was a bit older than me, as I was 23  and he was about 30. We hadn’t even touched or anything just flirting. I asked where his wife was and he said they were going through a rough patch. I went to use the toilet and was very drunk and when I came back, he started massaging my shoulders and kissing my neck. Next thing I knew, we were on the floor of his kitchen and then we went to the bedroom! He asked me if I was on the pill I said no and he grabbed a condom. I said I hadn’t had sex in a few months which wasn’t true because I fucked the night before. The sex was amazing. He gave me oral then fucked me missionary doggy and even had anal. He went through three condoms and he was in charge. Finally, as the sun was coming up, we fell asleep and I woke up to him naked and hard again massaging my back. I asked him to drop me home after that and we went back to ignoring each other. I was only interested in sex and nothing more. This was lucky because about three weeks later his wife and kids all moved back to town and back into the home. Eek.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt pretty shit, definitely told no one, about awkward as I said the town was tiny so I saw him every day almost I went out of the house. I had no expectations afterwards but we both knew it was our secret as he had a wife and I was dating a guy. Now I still see him when I visit. My parents they still live there and we say hello because everyone knows everyone but that’s it. Funny thing is my dad had issues with the guy’s wife saying she was being overly flirty and throwing herself at my dad, haha my mum soon put a stop to that.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only ever told my sister. She laughed and said, yeah I figured that’s what happened when you cunts left me to walk home lol.. oops

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? Because technically I cheated on my guy I was dating and who I’m now engaged to. And also because the guy I hooked up with is a bit of a sleaze cheating on his wife.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was good I guess

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The hangover and the guilt and the awkwardness now.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I don’t regret it but I do feel bad about it when I look at my partner

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? None

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Unsure

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!