What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Slippery When Wet
How long ago did this hookup happen? About three months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was tall, skinny, Eastern European, had black hair and a beard. I had known him for a couple years but didn’t truly get to know him until this past fall. We dated on and off for about seven months, and this particular hookup was the first night we had seen each other since spring break.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He had come over to my room late at night after going out. We were supposed to watch an episode of our favorite tv show but we went straight to making out. There wasn’t a plan to have sex, but usually when we plan to watch this show it leads to sex.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After we started making out and taking off each other’s clothes he laid me down on my bed and began going down on me. He made me extremely wet, so I pulled him on top of me so he could fuck me. Our sex had always been quite passionate and sexy. I began on top, then I rode him as he grabbed my breasts and rubbed my clit. We were both really into being a bit rough (and loud), so either one or both of us would end up with bite marks or bruises. With this particular hookup I ended up with two bite marks on my lower left back and he had a couple on his neck. After I orgasmed on top of him we switched to him giving it to me from behind. He pulled my hair a bit and slapped my ass, which really made me horny. He wanted to take a shower after we were done so I decided to join him. My dorm room only had a communal shower separated by curtains, which made it risky to be in your shower with someone else. As soon as we were naked in the shower we began making out again, and it eventually led to more sex. I pulled myself up using the bar the curtains were hanging on so he could fuck me, and he also fucked me from behind. It was really steamy and sexy because it was so risky. When we were done having sex we lathered each other up with soap and kissed each other all over.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After we were done showering we went back to my room, laid on my bed naked and cuddled for a bit until he decided to head back to his room for the night. The next day I felt really good about myself, but the following days I began to feel down. I realized this hookup didn’t mean we were going to start dating again, and I was kind of upset with myself for hooking up with him. We hooked up a few more times these past three months but nothing consistent; it took a toll on our friendship and how I felt about myself. Now, I’m glad he graduated and is no longer on campus. I’m on good terms with him but I don’t want to be involved with him like I was previously.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with a few of my friends, and most of them just rolled their eyes. Their feelings about this guy were not positive and were concerned I would fall for him again.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How sexy and satisfying it was for both of us. We both really enjoyed having sex with each other.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? How I felt about him and myself a few days after it happened.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I realize I cannot get involved with my exes because it usually leads to emotional damage. I think I would be more open to casual sex with someone if I didn’t have dating history prior.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex is a wonderful thing humans do. I used to think sex was only meant for two people in a serious committed relationship and have known each other for a long time. I’ve come to realize through my own sexual experiences that sex can be really enjoyable, and safe, in any kind of relationship. Women and sex have always been viewed as a negative thing; like women aren’t supposed to have sex or embrace their sexuality. People, often men, forget women are just as capable, have the right, and should be comfortable embracing their sexuality and sexual experiences. I am very open about my sexuality and sexual experiences, but I wish more women could feel just as comfortable.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I find the Casual Sex Project to be a fantastic outlet for discussing and expressing one’s sexuality. Anyone can share their personal stories and can relate to others who might’ve experienced something similar. It gives people the freedom to talk about how sex makes them feel, and for me, gave me a way to reflect on how I perceive casual sex.
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