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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Event producer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Slow burning crush

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We had worked together on and off for three years. She was bossy and sort of annoying but there was something… She was really curvy and had a pretty face and occasionally showed her soft side. And once I overheard her telling a friend in the office about a night she had where a guy came out to join her on a balcony and took her from behind. Couldn’t shake the image.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We’d finished a project and had been for a drink with our team. Sharing a cab home, we were going to drop her off then me. As we turned into her road she literally jumped on my lap and kissed me. We stopped at hers. Her boyfriend was away working.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were slightly coy when we got in her flat, but after we sorted drinks we kissed and then things progressed. We’d flirtily talked about stuff before, and it seemed like a practical test of what we’d talked about. In clothes she had an incredible cleavage, and now those breasts were on my legs as she went down on me. I stopped her before I came and pulled her onto her back and kissed every bit of her. I’d never been a “boob man” but I loved kissing them. On another night i snorted Coke off her cleavage. She tells people about that even now. But we had a lot of fun. I only entered her briefly with her on top but it was a lot of fun.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We were fine the next day – put it down to unfinished business after flirting in the office. We met up a number of times after that. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been with who told me to come on her face… A bit of a fantasy, but when you’re told to, you get a bit of stage fright. We tried to just meet up as friends once, but after a few drinks we were getting intimate and she went down on me. On another occasion we were at a friend’s wedding and spent the night in her room – her giving me a handjob, me fingering her.. It was kind of innocent in a way.
We met up again recently, and she told me her friends still refer to the boob Coke snorting.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Cocaine

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Cocaine

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends. One tonight, which made me write about it. Weirdly, I’ve told someone before who got really turned on about it.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? It wasn’t the best of circumstances. We should have both been single.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was naughty and fun. And beyond any other sexual experience it gave me proper memories.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Different time and different place, it could have had a future.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We met recently. We didn’t refer to it at all for some time then had a drink and shared our thoughts. Although it seems like a different world now, we do still need to be careful.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve had lovely experiences and bad ones. It’s been great if you are both in the same status and mindset. There’s something quite free about it that’s different in relationships.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Fascinating!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!