What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Creative
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Horny
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10+ -20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? This is my first
Small Girl, Big Dick
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall and Latino, nice lips. I had never hooked up with anyone like him before. He went to the same art school as me, but graduated a year before me. He was smart, but definitely strange and I can’t remember exactly how we met. Maybe it was social media that fueled our introduction as we ran in parallel groups. I knew he liked me but I didn’t want to give him the time of day, I kept blowing him off. I wanted nothing to do with him but it turned me on how bad he wanted to fuck me. I was definitely teasing him, and I was in the midst of a sexual awakening.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? That day I was drinking with friends and since I was single, I was horny. To be honest, that time in my life was fraught with unhappiness and simultaneously a sense of exploration. I had some ‘okay’ casual encounters before him and was learning the hard way about consent, respect, and its gray areas- it was my summer of fucking after just turning 21. None of my previous partners were particularly satisfying and I had a feeling he’d treat me better since he was singing my praises and always telling me how beautiful I was. Plus, I was starting to become attracted to his strangeness. I texted him my proposition and he accepted. I remember feeling relieved. We both knew we were going to have sex but I don’t remember if we laid it out as such. I immediately high-tailed it home, showered, took a shot, and put on a sheer tunic. I also laid out my anal plug just in case I felt like using it. In hindsight, I should have also invested in lube.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He came in, saw me naked under my dress, and we immediately started kissing and talking. The shot I had taken hit me but unlike previous hookups, I was very aroused and happy. He went down on me, which I used to hate. I remember thinking that if every guy ate my pussy like he did, I would like it more. He played with my clit piercing and licked my asshole. I thought I was going to cum. Then he pulled out his cock and it was the biggest one I’d ever seen. All of my fantasies involved a large penis so I was elated. I sucked him (my favorite thing to do to this day) and got even more wet. He loved it. This foreplay lasted a pretty long time before we started fucking. And in previous hookups I was always hesitant to get on top and ride, but with him, I happily obliged. He stuck his fingers in my ass and held me down on top of him as he pounded me. It’s hard to explain but it somehow fulfilled my desire to be dominated without being corny or melodramatic, as most young guys tend to re-enact unrealistic pornos. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I came, my arms pinned behind my back and my tits in his mouth. I got up and I inserted the plug which hurt like hell. We continued fucking, this time from behind with my hands on the wall in front of me, and he came shortly after. I had no idea it would be our one and only hookup.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Unlike previous hookups, I felt connected with him during and after the fact. Since we were satellite friends before the hookup, it didn’t feel weird that he hung out for a few hours after. We laid on my bed and got to know one another a little better- I found out he was actually bisexual. We talked about our families and some intimate details of our lives. I consider myself an empath so that kind of conversation is pretty standard for me. He seemed uncomfortable at first but loosened up. At one point, we went up to my roof to smoke a cigarette and tried to fuck again, but there were roaches that sent us in a frenzy back downstairs. It was at that point I told him he could stay the night but he opted to leave. After he left I reconsidered my feelings for him, thinking we could start dating now that I gave in to his persistent badgering. I really thought I had it in the bag. Fast forward a few weeks and he consistently blew me off and played the macho Latino guy card, telling people I was strange. I felt gross about myself after that and knew he was contributing to the narrative that I was a slut. I played it off like I didn’t care but it was complicated and hurt me more than I expected. We ended up hating each other. The ironic thing is that around a month later, he was hanging out with a new guy in town, someone from Europe on an artist’s visa. I met that guy, fell in love pretty quickly, and have been together for 2 years. Today I feel indifferent towards him but for awhile I wondered if he still thought of me, what he thought, and if he was jealous that I started dating his ‘friend’. I also wondered if he knows he was the biggest I’d ever have. I recognize that I never really knew him, and most of my insecurities about what happened were probably my own projections.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Everyone else was/is doing it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my immediate friends and my mom. They were all kind of like, “Why did you do that?” because he had a reputation for being weird and running with a brooding, macho, artsy crowd that tended to remain stoic and indifferent about the girls they bagged. Then when we ended up on bad terms, no one was surprised. It kind of hindered my developing relationship but thankfully, my partner was mature enough to ignore the buzz of the popular kids and focus on getting to know me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? This is hard to answer. I don’t regret the sex- it was great, we both got off, and I know we both liked each other. Maybe I regret contributing to my own negative reputation, although I know in my heart I was acting responsibly and can’t control the public’s response to my sexuality.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? His dick, blowing him, getting my asshole licked.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The aftermath, feeling like I was wearing a scarlet letter A.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? This hookup was definitely the turning point for me in terms of discovering the meaning of consent. Until this point I was just fucking guys under the pretense that I was a revolutionary woman and loved sex- now I know I can still be that woman, while being respectful to myself and being selective. I realized I wasn’t totally giving consent in some past hookups and I lacked the courage to stop it after saying “yes”.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Not really.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is fucking tricky! On one hand I believe everyone is entitled to do whatever they want and they should feel like they have options. On the other hand, I know firsthand how damaging it can be when you don’t know yourself or trust yourself- especially as a woman. You have to protect yourself and you can do that while still being a sex-positive feminist. My advice would be to take it slow and check in with yourself often. Be understanding to other people.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great. I like reading other people’s stories.
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