What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 60
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

So Many Firsts

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2015

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was at a holiday tweetup just before Christmas and a tall woman I’d never met came in with a friend and dropped their coats near me. She created an opportunity to talk with me, we chatted for only a minute, then we were off to talk to different friends. She was attractive, but not so much that I thought much about it.

An hour or so later, as I was about to leave, she sat down next to me with what was clearly not her first martini and proceeded to engage me in conversation. In a very short time I had all sorts of details about her kids, marriage, work, and recent troubles with all of the above. I offered some advice, she seemed to find it helpful, and I left.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The next day I noticed a tweet to me, saying “YOU, I need to get to know!” I thought it a little forward, but she was nice and I can always appreciate a lunch or a coffee with an attractive woman. We connected via email, set a date, and met for lunch.

Walking across the street toward the restaurant she reached out and held my hand. Again, a little forward, but I am into a flirt as much as anyone else, so I held on as we walked and made sure I touched her arm and knee while we ate.

“I find you smart, sexy, and dominant.” Those are the words that appeared in my phone the evening after that first lunch meeting with a lady I had only met for minutes the month before. I knew the technical definition of dominant, but had never associated it with me. I had read BDSM erotica, but never saw myself exercising that level of mental control over another, much less being a sadist. Needless to say, I was engaged, we continued texting for another hour. She had me at, “I just want you to tie me up and fuck me.”

We met for a second time in a large restaurant in Boston on a weekday. I had done my reading. I told her to come in a short dress with no panties on. But it was January – too cold for a skirt and boots, so she wore low-rise jeans and killer boots. I walked her back to the booth I had been sitting at for 10 minutes, seating her first and sliding in next to her. We kissed and chatted a few minutes. This was the first time we had met in a dom/sub relationship. I had no idea what to expect. The waitress took her drink order for a martini. As soon as the waitress turned away this woman began loosening her pants and sliding them off her hips. I was amazed, thrilled, and started getting hard instantly. What an amazing new life I was seeing unfold before my eyes!

She shaved her pussy, I had never seen one. Being male, and the declared dom (by her), I moved into action, pivoting toward her, grabbing her head by the hair at the base of her scalp with my left hand, and dropping my right hand to her pussy. In seconds my tongue was in her mouth and my fingers were slipping through her very wet labia. I had never felt such a wet, slick pussy in my life (my wife was really the first real girlfriend I ever had and she rarely gets wet until long after being physically stimulated). We only had seconds before the waitress would return – or it would become obvious to the other wait staff that something very sexy was going on at the booth at the back. I ran my fingers from her clit to vagina, forcing two fingers in. The second I entered her she came, moaning loudly into my mouth. It was a wonderful rush of power to pull back and out of two of her holes. She licked her lips, closed her eyes and sagged back against the upholstery. I turned, pulling the tablecloth over her crotch, just as the waitress appeared at the table with her martini. I ordered food and bought us more time. Now with my left hand (I am right handed) I began to finger fuck her, her moans and ragged breathing telling me I was doing something right in spite of how awkward my actions felt. I soon realized she could cum repeatedly in less than a minute. I drove a finger down to rub her asshole and she suddenly grabbed my head, bit my ear and croaked into my ear, “I want you to fuck me in the ass, sir!” Mind you, this is a woman about to turn 52, very tall, very well dressed, lots of money, and I had known her all of a week.

Marveling at where I was, what I was doing, and how many of my preconceived notions changing by the second of what decorum, marriage, and fidelity meant, we went on like this as we ate our meal. I was sure that the waitstaff knew, but they were discreet.

At the end of the meal she asked if I had a few minutes to go make out somewhere. She knew that the restaurant connected to a hotel on an upper floor and she lead the way upstairs. We found an open door into the back of a shop that appeared to be closed. We went inside and immediately she dropped her coat and bag, opened up her blouse and unhooked her front-closure bra. I began sucking on her tits and sent my right hand into those low-rise jeans. The jeans were pushed to her thighs and I jacked up one of her legs to get my thumb into her asshole. She came in seconds, again moving her lips close to my ear to tell me how much she wanted me to fuck her. We went on like that for at least 5 minutes before two staffers came in the back door. They waited patiently while we redressed my sub and walked out, thanking them for the use of the space.

Out on the street, putting her in her car, I held her in a kiss. Looking into her eyes, I asked, “Still wet?” She smiled and replied, “Always when I think of you!” I closed the door and said through the open window, “Stay wet.” That became my closing directive to her in every text and exchange: Stay wet!

Fired up by the sexual energy we were both feeling, we set another lunch date for the next week. This time, we arranged for a Mexican restaurant in the theater district, but arriving early I realized it was not going to work. The tables had no tablecloths to mask our roaming hands and there were no booths – not even a romantic nook in the back. I went looking for a better option.

I walked into a large steak and seafood house and told the hostess that I wanted to look around to see if this was going to be suitable for a meeting I had in mind. As I got to a lower level I walked by booths that had curtains across them. I stopped one of the managers to ask if these needed reservations and he said no, not at lunch time. I texted my sub to change the location, went upstairs and out the front door, meeting her as she pulled up in to park. Out she stepped in a knee-length dress, low-cut blouse, knee-high boots, and a long coat. She looked like a high-priced escort; I was in heaven.

We got settled into one of the booths as we had the week before, she sat on my left. After the drink order arrived I handed the waiter $20 and asked him to come to our booth only when the curtain was open. Michael agreed, winked, closed the curtain for us and we only saw him when we needed him. The passion fest exploded within seconds, this time with her long black hair tightly entwined in my left fist and my right hand swiftly under the skirt and up to make contact with the aforementioned shaved pussy. All the while, I was staring into her eyes and holding her head just far enough away that she could not touch my lips. She moaned faintly as she strained against my hand, looking down at my lips and then up to my eyes to implore that I release her. I held her back as my fingers found her wetness and began to travel up and down between her lips. The second I touched her clit her eyes shut and she melted, her head tilting back to my pull, her mouth agape, her breath becoming ragged. I lowered my mouth over hers and began to lick and suck in her lips, one at a time, then slide my tongue past her teeth to explore her mouth as she moaned into me in an exhale.

I was “getting used to” having such remarkable access to this sexy woman, but the amazing turn of events was no less intoxicating. “Besides zero, how many married guys are fingerfucking a gorgeous woman on their lunch break right now? This is not a dream, but holy shit, it sure feels like it!” All this flashed through my brain in one heartbeat – maybe two. My focus returned to the woman in my arms. I was the dom, after all, my attention was needed in the scene. Or maybe it was her hand sliding over the pants covering my semi-hard cock.

Somehow, Michael was able to take our orders, we ate, and I returned her to her car so I could go back to work. I sent her off with my admonition to “stay wet for me.” I was all in, and the crashing realization that I intended to fuck this woman started a thought process to find a way to make that happen.

We were texting near-constantly. During the lunch, I had revealed that my wife of 30 years had never given me a blow job. She had often sucked my cock for a few minutes, but would lose interest and had never brought me to climax, much less swallowed my sperm. My sub (I was comfortable with that terminology – I didn’t want the connotation of cheating that accompanies “mistress”) was horrified, prompting her to ask for permission to be the first woman to receive my cum in her mouth. The text strings back and forth that afternoon were all focused on where and when would I receive my first blow job. Needless to say, I was having a very hard time concentrating on my work.

A plan came together that night. It was nearly impossible to hide from my wife the fact that someone was talking to me via text day in, day out. I had mentioned the woman and her challenges with her husband and kids after I first had lunch with her, setting her up in my wife’s mind as another of the many people (mostly women) I attracted as a sounding board, mentor, job coach, or shoulder to cry on. This night was unusually active as I began to plan a lunch outing to beat the other two life-changing lunches. I was getting a few scowls and suggestions that I “tell her to talk to her therapist!” Then Game of Thrones came on and her attention was glued to the screen.

Armed with her schedule, I reserved a room for the following week at a hotel just down the street from my office. I added a two-hour lunch to my work calendar and marked it private. And then I started planning out the scene.

Hundreds of sexy text exchanges later, and the day arrived. I met her on the street and drove with her to the hotel (where I had called earlier in the day asking for early check-in with a quiet room so I could ‘prep for an afternoon meeting’). She was in charge of lunch, so we brought in only her purse and a bag of prepared foods. The small talk around the bottle of champagne to celebrate my first blow job was over quickly as I pulled her up onto her feet, kissed her passionately to be sure I had her attention, and asked her if she was ready for her discipline.

She had promised me she would rise early to talk to me one morning, but slept through her alarm. When finally she logged on, I told her I was disappointed, that there was much I wanted to talk with her about that we would not be able to spend time on while I worked. Later that morning she texted me to tell me that sushi was getting delivered to me for lunch, but I told her that didn’t substitute for the discipline I would mete out the next time we met. Here in the hotel room, she quietly nodded. I sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled her down to lie over my knees, resting her head on the bed beside me. I raised her skirt, lowered her panties, and began to rub her ass. A quick check with a finger told me she was already wet. To escalate her obvious arousal, I pulled her butt cheeks apart and ran my fingers into her pussy, then slid my wet fingers to her asshole to circle it. She squirmed and pushed her hips up against my fingers at her anus as she moaned into the bed. Leaving my right hand rubbing her ass cheeks, my left hand slid up her back over her blouse, the fingers threading into her hair at the base of her scalp. Simultaneously I gripped her hair and jerked her head back as my right hand made the first impact on her ass. She grunted an “oh fuck!” as her body shook, the relaxed when no other smacks followed. I again massaged her ass as I allowed her head to return to the bed. Just as it did the next blow stuck her, then another in a slow pace of relatively hard slaps on alternating cheeks. I stopped to check in with her, knowing full well that she was loving this. She had told me that spanking was something she loved but could never get from her husband.

This woman has a very high libido, as does her husband – a rare match. They can, and apparently often do, fuck four times a day. I can’t fathom how anything gets done in that household, much less how they raised children! In spite of that, she was not happy. Her husband was a great vanilla lover, but did not want to be her dom and was not very interested in impact play, bondage, or any other kink play. That’s why I found myself looking at this gorgeous vixen as she slid off my knees, stood up, lowered her skirt and panties, took off her blouse, released her fantastic tits from the bra holding them, and lowered herself to her knees between my legs – all while keeping her eyes locked onto mine. She moved her gaze to my pants: unbuckling my belt, lowering my pants and underwear, and wrapping both hands around my almost-vertical cock.

This woman prided herself on being a very good cocksucker, she mentioned it often. Leaning back onto my elbows to watch her engage my eyes again, slowly lick her lips, gradually open and extend her lips just enough to wrap around the head of my penis, then steadily lower her head onto the first 3 inches of my cock with her tongue sliding tight to the underside, I totally agreed with her self assessment. Never having seen a woman work on my cock more than a minute or two, I was amazed at the ongoing sensations of a serious blow job, seven minutes into it. I don’t know how long it took, but gradually I felt the build up of an orgasm. It still took forever to reach release, but when it did she registered the occasion with a slight raise of an eyebrow as she stared at me, a slow decent to go down as far as she could on my dick, and then to slowly rise up off it using a most amazing hard suction that milked every last drop out of me as she did. Breaking into a satisfied smile as her lips lifted off the knob of my cock, she swallowed and pronounced, “Congratulations!”

Collapsing back on the bed, I reveled in the feel of her body sliding up alongside mine to snuggle her shoulder into my armpit and wrap her long leg over me. I drank in her smell, acknowledged and accepted the buzz emanating from my cock and the organs beneath it, and registered the sensations of touch as I ran my hands over her body and she did the same over me. This was bliss. It was in this state that the logic play I would use to get permission to fuck this woman came to my awareness.

We ate lunch, never did open the champagne – holding it for the first time we would fuck, and before we cleaned up I put her on her back on the bed and settled in between her thighs to drive her wild with my tongue in thanks for my first blow job. After much bucking and moaning and screams and frantic grabbing of my head to either pull me deeper or push me away, we headed to the shower.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As I was lying on my back finally receiving my first blow job in the 60th year of my life, I gazed at the beautiful woman sucking my cock and knew I had to fuck her. For 37 years I had known sex with only one woman, and very few before that. A voice in my head was saying, “It makes no sense to have to go through another 30 years without the experience of pleasuring other women.”

In a matter of a few short weeks, I had awakened to my dominant nature, been introduced to the role of the Dominant, conducted a crash course in what my responsibilities and possibilities were as a Dom, and energized my life in a way I could never have seen coming. The momentum was dizzying, it was only natural that my mind was racing ahead at every opportunity to imagine a different life full of exciting sensations.

A logic stream began to form in my mind for how to gain my wife’s permission to fuck another woman. This, as my body was telling me that the ministrations on my cock were about to result in me ejaculating into a woman’s mouth – mundane for most readers, but an inaugural event in my life (seminal, shall we say?). I mapped the key elements of the logic in my head to make sure I would remember them, then returned my concentration to this wonderful, sexy, submissive woman who was now staring into my eyes as she fondled my balls and slid my cock as deep as she could into her mouth. “Stick out your tongue and suck as hard as you can,” I told her (I’d read that somewhere and never thought I would have the chance to use it, as my wife is very bored by cock sucking). The added friction, extended along the underside of my shaft, did the trick and I felt my climax rise in my crotch. Grabbing her head and hair and speeding her up I felt the most glorious release of my semen into the hot, wet sleeve of her mouth. She smiled up at me as she felt it first, then tasted it, then swallowed and licked my cock from base to tip. What a gift this woman had just given me, and what an amazing door was now open before me! There and then I knew I had to have that experience more often in the rest of my days on the planet.

My sub and I talked daily; there were hundreds of messages back and forth throughout each day. Almost immediately we began planning a first scene. I told her it would only happen if my wife knew and allowed it. Hearing that, my sub was immediately sad; what wife would possibly “give permission” for her husband to fuck another woman? What she couldn’t factor in was the depth of the relationship I had with my wife and the groundwork I had established.

Often in the last 15 years my spouse and I had discussions around the wide disparity between our two libidos. (She ‘needed’ sex ten times a year, I wanted it ten times a week. We settled on once a week.) In recent years my wife and I had discussed my thinking, questioning why matrimony was necessary for a species that didn’t need it for the first 90,000 years of its existence. Additionally, I had shared with her that I was becoming more and more convinced that I could love more than one woman while keeping her my one, true life partner. With repeated assurances that I would never leave her, I asked for permission to explore my new-found fascination with bondage. She asked if it would lead to sex. I explained it didn’t have to, but being as horny as I was, it probably would. She stared at me and said, “I cannot stop you from this, can I?”

She knew me well. Although I never attributed it to my dominant nature, I had often made decisions on my own that would affect us and our family. She argued she deserved to be consulted, I argued there wasn’t an opportunity and my gut feel was it was the right thing to do. This was one of those times. I saw this as a chance to take our relationship to a whole new level.

She agreed conditionally:
– I could only do things to subs she would not let me do to her.
– I could not risk her health.
– I would never leave her for a sub.

I agreed and within minutes a simple “I have permission!” was texted to my sub, who was shocked as much as she was thrilled.

I took a Tuesday off from work, told my wife I was doing a sequential visit to see friends for lunch and dinner, and drove off with my car loaded with rope and toys. It was my first scene, I was rehearsing it in my head for days before. Arriving at the hotel before 11AM (I had called to ask for early arrival) I then asked for a room on the ground floor at the end of the hall with an external wall. Upon entering the room I moved quickly to fasten ropes at the corners of the bed, music, toys and lubes in a couple spots around the room, and lay out my impact tools.

Starting with a surreal walk from her car with her on my arm wearing high boots and a short skirt and what I knew would be no bra or panties, I was mentally struggling for the next 4 hours to keep to the plan, while ecstatically observing what was happening. When does this happen to a committed, kind, loving married man? Once inside the room and the bottle of champagne from [our first hotel encounter][] was now in the refrigerator again, we kissed deeply, my hands running under her clothing up and down to confirm that she had followed instructions. I had her stand with her arms over her head while I stripped her and inspected her skin and body from top to bottom, sliding my fingers in her mouth, in her slick, wet pussy, and in her ass. Then I had her do the same to me, telling her to run her fingers over all of my body with her eyes close to my skin to better appreciate the man who owned her for the coming hours. As she lowered to her knees I had her continue her examination below my knees, bending over to see and touch my feet.

I reached down, ran my fingers into her long, black hair at the base of her neck, gripped for a good hold, and slowly raised her head level with my near-erect cock. She knew to keep her hands at her sides, staring ahead, submitting to my control of her body. Turning her head slowly to the side I slipped two fingers in her mouth, on top of her tongue and into the opening of her throat, holding them there while her gag reflex tensed, then relaxed. “Keep it open,” I said, turning her head to my stiff cock and slowly drawing her open mouth as a wet, warm sleeve over my penis. She closed around it, began to add suction, and reached up to grasp my hips as I let go of her hair. I was officially in heaven.

She had told me that neither of her other two Doms had throat fucked her lying on her back, so I didn’t let her go too long before I stopped her – I wanted her on her back, but there were a few more elements of the script that I knew had to happen first.

Gripping both sides of her head, backing her off of my cock, then tilting her head up to meet her eyes, I told her I was pleased, and that I wanted her to wear my collar. She nodded and smiled, telling me it would be her honor. The thick, black leather color was buckled on, the chrome chain leash was clipped to the loop, and I had to pause for a moment to reflect on the realization that I had just created my first D/s relationship. Gently pulling on the leash, she rose and followed me to the bed, where I put her on her back with her head at the foot and her limbs spread to the corners. Walking slowly around I brought the rough manila rope up from the floor to attach to her wrists and ankles. I had asked as I was buying the rope, “Will manila be too rough?” to which she replied “You know this is not about comfort, right?” Now spread-eagle on her back, I slid her head off the end of the bed and once again inserted two fingers, now sliding them on the roof of her mouth to again find the top of her throat. Holding them still, I had her extend her tongue and try repeatedly to swallow until I felt her tongue grip my fingers and pull them into her throat. Removing them slowly, I wrapped them around my cock and guided it into her open mouth. I reached down to direct her hands to the cheeks of my ass, encouraging her to pull me into her.

Not wanting to cum too soon, I enjoyed the silky, slick feeling of her mouth around my shaft, but pulled out after I felt the head slip into her throat twice. My mind was reeling with the recognition of what was happening! I quickly switched my mental focus to the next item on the script.

Realizing I hadn’t planned enough activities in this tie, I improvised by climbing up on the bed to eat her and tease her asshole. She was very aroused, climaxing at least twice in rolling convulsions that jerked her limbs to pull against her restraints.

Minutes later, bent over the dining table, legs and hands secured to the four legs of the table and a ball gag in her mouth, I was standing in front of this tall, thin, raven-haired vixen applying lube to a 3-inch wide butt plug. The look of mild panic on her face was a huge turn on – I could really become addicted to the feelings of dominance! Walking behind her, I squeezed more lube on her asshole, working it in with one, two, then three fingers. Her delicious moans encouraged me. I pressed the point of the plug into her ass slowly, continuing the pressure and sympathetically feeling her sphincter dilate to accommodate this monster. As she arched her back and cried out through the gag I relented, then started in again. This went on for almost five minutes before her ass could fully accept the plug. But even then, it wouldn’t stay. I pulled it out and went in with two fingers and realized that the depth of her two rings of muscle was more than the space provided between the bulb and the flange of the plug. Seeing the solution in my mind’s eye, I reinserted the plug in her ass, stroked my cock to hardness, and slipped into her pussy to hold the butt plug in place with my body.

The realization was almost lost in the euphoria of the feelings registering in my dick and the sight before me: for the first time in 37 years I was fucking another woman! The rush of thoughts through my brain almost made me forget to register the pleasure I was feeling. Savoring the tight grip of her pussy, the slick mucus allowing me to slide fully and deeply into her, the sight of the butt plug flange against her ass cheeks, and her moans of pleasure I nearly swooned as unadulterated joy swept over me like a wave. Reaching forward to smooth her long, black hair and gather it together, I grabbed her tail at the base of her skull and slowly pulled her head up and back toward me. She reacted as I had expected, changing the sound of her moans to reflect an even greater state of arousal. This was all so new to me, the submissive female was nothing I had ever experienced. Being able to please her on so many levels gave me a euphoric sense of excitement, a feeling I knew I could get addicted to. Increasing my rhythm, I focused on full strokes into her, feeling for the head of my cock to just pass out of her cunt to her lips, then slamming back in to slam my crotch up against her perineum. She began to orgasm, her arms and legs twitching and flailing against the restraints. Seconds after beginning to relax, she again climaxed, and again. I had no experience with multi-orgasmic women; it was mesmerizing to see and realize I was causing these waves pounding through her body.

I realized I was desperately wanting release, but my cock had become comfortable in the slippery sleeve of her vagina. It was time for something tighter. I pulled out, moved back, and caught the butt plug as she squirted it out of her ass. I spanked her ass and thighs a few times to force her sphincter to close as she instinctively tightened her muscles to receive the blows. My cock was hard and slick with her juices, and there was residual lube from the butt plug all around her now-tightly puckered asshole. I stepped back into position behind her sprawled body spread across the table and in one quick movement sunk my cock all the way into her rectum. She later told me that the shock of the entry and the sudden feeling of being full was so wonderful she wanted to cry.

From my vantage, her head jerked up and she let out a sustained moan that registered to me as positive and encouraging; I began to pound her with all my might. This was beyond ecstasy – I was now in an act of passion that I could never have imagined three months before. Her anus was gripping my cock and feeding the most amazing sensations through it to my nervous system! This was something I wanted to feel every day: the primal urge to mount a woman, to plant my seed deep within her bowels. Everything hitting my senses was giving me great joy. As I felt my orgasm building I leaned forward, grabbed her head with both hands, tilted her ear toward me and grunted, “are you ready to feel me cum inside you?” Wild-eyed with saliva dripping off her chin and hair matted to her sweaty forehead, she nodded and mumbled yes. Just as I came I slowed to pound her deliberately and deeply with each stroke, focused on feeling the release and the unique change in sensations in the scrotum and head of the penis. This was one of the most memorable ejaculations of my life, I sensed I would not soon forget the gift this woman was giving me.

After untying her, we hugged and kissed each other deeply on the bed in what I would learn is termed aftercare. To me it was giving thanks and making sure I had not hurt her. At some point she moved down my body and drew my limp cock into her mouth, making it hard once again. Working her way back up to kiss me, she reached back and aligned my cock with her pussy as she moved back down to impale herself on it. Sitting back on her knees with her hands on my chest, she had an angelic smile on her face with her eyes closed as she rode me and gave me another chance to feel that talented cunt squeeze my dick.

We finally drank that champagne, this time to celebrate our first fuck, and we spent another half hour in each other’s arms. At one point she was lying back against my chest and I was playing with her breasts, pinching her nipples to hear her moan and watch her squirm. Sliding my other hand to her mons, I finger fucked her to another orgasm. This time I could watch it build. In her face I could see the change in her lips and skin tone as her arousal increased and her own sensuality enveloped her. When the orgasm broke over her it was a force that registered first in her eyes, then her mouth and voice, then out to the extremities of her limbs, and finally wrenching her torso – forcing her to arch her back as she let out a loud cry of pure lust.

Looking at the clock as we cleaned up and packed my tools, I noted that it had been almost five hours since we started. The realization that this was my new life was sinking in. The Grateful Dead phrase came to mind: what a long, strange trip it’s been.

And I was thrilled with where it had taken me!

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Two days after our first scene, I was sitting at lunch when I received a call from my first sub. Calling during the workday was not done without prior arrangement, so the break in protocol made me answer her call. She proceeded to tell me that she had left her laptop on and unlocked on the counter while she went out on errands and her husband had read through her text messages and emails and now knew about our affair. He had reacted in a predictable manner when she returned and talked of moving out and divorce.

She was not hysterical as she told me all this, instead sounding like she was vibrating with nervous energy. I took the cue and suggested that she stay calm and facilitate a different conversation with him. In many of our text and in-person conversations she had asked why she got the sense that I was fearless. I had explained to her the worldview that I had adopted that we are all creators, able to manipulate much of our reality with our thoughts. For instance, I didn’t think about getting mugged, so I believed I wouldn’t and took no inordinate procedures to make sure I didn’t. Same thing with getting permission to fuck her. I believed that I could explain to my wife that this would help our marriage, and while it took a while for her to see that and allow it, she perceived that I believed it and went on her faith in me built over 37 years to see where it went.

I asked my sub what she wanted. She had often talked about leaving her husband, he was not treating her well and didn’t seem to respect her. He fucked her every day, many days three and four times in a day, but she never got the feeling it was anything other than primal need, never love. But now she did not want to leave him; the specter of taking on the sole responsibility of her son, the need to find work again, and maintaining a house alone was too much for her. My recommendation was to sit him down calmly and explain to him that she only did it to be appreciated. She needed to be valued and she wasn’t feeling that from him. We talked another five minutes on phrasing and staying calm, then she was off to think it through and rehearse before he got home from work.

The next day, I received a text at lunch time, asking to talk. She called and told me that it had worked as planned. He sat down angry that she was trying to control the conversation, listened to what she had to say, blinked and dropped his eyes to the floor, and when he looked back up to her he was a changed man. He freely admitted that it was his fault, that he had treated her poorly. He asked for her forgiveness and a second chance. They talked, fucked, talked, and in the end resolved to create a stronger marriage from this experience. His one condition was that she never have anything to do with me.

We had scheduled another one of our now-routine finger-fuck lunches that week, I wanted it more than ever because clearly, it would be our last. She was sad to tell me that we couldn’t do it, that she had committed to severing her ties to me. Calmly and quietly she told me, “I now like and even love my husband again, and I have you to thank for that. But I will only ever be ‘in love’ with you. Goodbye.”

With that, she hung up, and I never heard from her again.

Within a week or two I came across a reference to Fetlife. Seeking to learn more about bondage, primarily, I walked through a virtual door into the alternate universe of kink we all know of as Fet. My world was forever changed for the better, and I have one woman to thank – a woman I may never get a chance to thank – who caught my attention with three simple words: Smart, Sexy, Dominant.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Power / Dominance

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only my wife for her permission.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The wake up to my sexuality and dominant nature.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Oh yes. Now I see casual sex as a great additive to my marriage.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was the first of 5 more submissives experienced in 2015, an amazing first event in an even more amazing year.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? The biggest fear of my wife is losing me, the second is what would the kids say, the third is what would the neighbors say. Why the judgement? Why the stigma, why the guilt?

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a great reveal of the many ways that people are rejecting the social structure imposed since agriculture dawned on Man. See “Sex At Dawn” for more about that.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!