What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Social Media Friend
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on social media by having similar hobbies like hiking, road biking, healthy cooking, backyard projects. We’ve been chatting back and forth for over a year. We each post photos of activities or projects and make comments. He compliments my appearance but never over the top. He’s a sexy older man that’s active and thin. I return compliments when he posts photos of himself in his biking kits. He’s 64, full head of gray hair, gray goatee, an engineer with a large company, married for 35 years, has older kids and lives 10 hours away.
I made Jim an exclusive photo board on my social media account. I’ll add photos of my outfits and posted a few casual bikini photos from the beach this past year. Nothing risqué. He gives me the smiley emoji.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Jim told me he was traveling on business to a city that’s an hour and a half from where I live. It’s scheduled to last all week but he’s staying extra days to enjoy the city and attend a baseball game on Saturday. Then he would fly back Sunday. As it turned out, that was the same weekend my husband and son would be 3 hours away in the mountains with his scout troop. They were leaving Friday and returning Sunday afternoon.
Jim suggested I meet him for lunch or dinner Friday because he was informed the class would end on Thursday and would be free all day Friday. We chatted back and forth and it would just be an innocent meal with a friend. I don’t what came over me but I agreed. He asked, “???Lunch or dinner?” I replied, “Both? I’m free all day too.” He sent me a smiley and his hotel address.
My husband and son left Friday morning. I did a few things around the house and put on a casual but tight fitting tennis dress. I thought I should pack a dinner dress. I looked back at my photos and found a dress Jim made lots of compliments about. I grabbed it, a pair of heels and a few other things and left. I was in the car alone and had naughty thoughts of what if something sexual does happen. I was passing the mall so I went to a popular lingerie store. Using cash, bought a sexy black lace bra and matching thongs. I arrived at Jim’s hotel around noon and he met me in the lobby. My first impression on meeting him the first time he was taller than I thought, sexier in person and had gorgeous blue eyes.
We walked to a coffee shop and ate. It was like we knew each other for years. We walked on a local greenway until the clouds moved in and he suggested we go to his hotel until dinner. I got my bag from the car and he was excited I packed a dinner dress. He stopped at the hotel restaurant and made dinner reservations for two.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We arrived in his room and I made the first move and we started kissing. I could feel he was hard so I pulled down his pants and started sucking him. He didn’t last long and came all over my dress. I took it off and put it in the sink to soak. He apologized but I didn’t mind. He hadn’t recovered yet and offered to give me oral. I agreed. He slowly and carefully removed my panties and dove his tongue inside me. He wasn’t great but it was enough to get me wet. I noticed he was hard again. I didn’t get condoms because that was something I assumed he would’ve been prepared for. He told me he’s only been with his wife and shooting blanks for the last 15 but willing to take a break and get some from the hotel store if I insist. I told him I’d only been with my husband until now so we agreed to proceed. We did missionary and he lasted a little longer this time but still got off early. We did a little foreplay and I sucked him till he was hard and we had sex again. This time I got on top and was on the verge of an orgasm but he went soft. I assured him I was fine and we would try after dinner. That made him feel much better. This entire experience had me so horny I was shaking.
I stood naked while I fixed my hair and make-up. He laid on the bed watching every move. He joked and said, “I’m glad you don’t mind me watching you.” I playfully teased and said, “It’s a little late to be shy now. We’ve already had sex.” I put on my new bra and panties then my dress and heels. In a seductive way, I helped tuck in his shirt, button it, and adjust his tie and we held hands to the restaurant. The conversation was nice and not awkward. It was like we were friends that never had sex. I was relieved. On the way back to the room, I agreed to spend the night. Once we got inside we had sex again and with the same result. I was close and he went soft but this time I did a little acting and faked an orgasm. I pulled it off.
He told me he was spent and positive he couldn’t get it up again. He must have thought I was going to leave but I walked around, turned out all the lights and we kissed under the covers till we fell asleep.
The next morning, I offered to have sex one more time but he told me he was done. He said if we ever meet again he’s bringing viagra. We said goodbye and I left. I was afraid my husband would ask questions about the bra and panties so I tossed the bra and stuffed the thongs in Jim’s pants pocket so he would find them later.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When I arrived home, I was still excited and horny from the entire experience. The first chance I got, I pulled my husband in the bedroom and we had amazing sex. I had multiple orgasms and he thought I was thrilled to see him.
Jim and I messaged that night. He found the panties and said, “What if my wife found them?” I said, “Your wife is lucky and should understand you can still get a girl that wears size XS thongs.” I got a thumbs up emoji.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being friends with someone online for so long and having sex with them the first time you meet them.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He kept going soft when I was so close to an orgasm. I wanted to experience an orgasm with him.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m happily married but the thrill and excitement of my first time having casual sex were great. I’m now open to try it again with someone else.
I never imagined I could enjoy the pleasures of casual sex and not feel an emotional connection with them. I’m excited to try it again. It’s spiced up my bedroom time with my husband.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I felt a little bad on the long drive back but that feeling has passed by the time I arrived home. Overall, it was a good experience for me and I wouldn’t change anything.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to see society be more accepting of married couples exploring outside their marriage by having casual sex. It has added excitement to our bedroom.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Good idea. It’s nice to know I’m not the only person to have an extramarital affair and not feel any guilt.
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