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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Belgium
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Self-employed
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Some Like it Rough

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Ilyas was my surf teacher for a week in Morocco. At that time, I was in a monogamous relationship for 9,5 years and I never cheated nor wanted to cheat on my partner. The first 3 days we talked normally. Then I started to be attracted to and I could tell it was mutual. He was fun, cool, hot and a bit shy too. The 3 following days we started flirting and texting and I was starting to consider kissing him even though that meant cheating on my partner for the very first time.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On my last day, we had the opportunity to talk for two hours on the beach. We talked about life, religion, family, our dreams as kids, etc. We were really flirting and physically teasing each other. I really wanted to kiss him for my last night and I was starting to consider having sex with him, i.e. to “really” cheat on my boyfriend. I know it was wrong but my desire for him and for adventure was so intense. We spent the evening with friends, flirting again. He walked me and a friend to the place we were staying. Instead of saying goodbye, I said “do you want to go for a walk?”. My friend left us, and we went to his place. We talked for 5 minutes I think, but the sexual tension was crazy and we quickly started to kiss.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He was not an amazing kisser (too much tongue) but I was really turned on. He carried me to his bedroom and gently throw me on his bed. We kissed again and quickly got undressed and totally naked. He licked his fingers and started to rub my clit vigorously. That was too hard for me but I liked it and got very wet very quickly.

Then he spanked me. And that changed my life. I had never been spanked during sex and I was amused and surprised. He kept doing it, and squeezing my butt too. No matter the position, he needed to spank me or hold my butt. I loved that, I felt like he owned my body and that was a major turn on. He was also very rough on his hip moves. I came several times and he finished too. We tried to sleep, but I could still feel the sexual tension between us. We started touching each other again and kissing again. I asked/told him “you like it hard?!”, he said “a little bit”. He fingered me and then I went on top, holding his hands on the bed above his head to begin with. Of course he had to touch my butt so he started to spank me again, or hold very firmly my but, which I loved. I also very enjoyed the fact that he was moaning, saying my name and then swearing repeatedly “fuck” when he was finishing.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I slept at his place and left early in the morning. The next day was complicated. I was so thrilled about that incredible night, it was like having “real” sex for the first time. But I was also wondering what it meant for my relationship and my boyfriend. I broke up with my boyfriend 6 weeks later because Ilyas and I were still in touch every day, talking about how amazing and unforgettable the night was, calling each other every week, and making plans to see each other again. All I wanted was to be single to explore that relationship. Which I’m still doing. I went back to Morocco for 4 days about 2.5 months later, to surf and to see him. At some point during these 2.5 months I fell in love with him, but I felt it was not mutual and without surprisingly too much pain and effort I thought it would be so much better to be friends with benefits, which we are now. We have spent 3 more nights together, and I’m going back there again to surf and see him in 6 weeks. The first night we spent again together was the best sex night I’ve ever had. We had sex twice and I had over 10 orgasms during that night, 3-5 the first time and 5-7 the second time. The second time we had sex was the best of my life. I got so wild, gave him a blow job, he choked me, told me to “shut up” with his hand on and his fingers in my mouth. Of course, there was still a lot of spanking and domination from him (doggy style).
Ilyas made me discover a new facet of my sexuality, that I liked rough sex, and that has changed my life

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to all my friends about it and then to my boyfriend when we broke up. Everyone was very supportive and I never felt judged.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It revealed to me a new facet of my sexuality, that I liked rough sex.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It made me realize I was no longer in love with my boyfriend and I left him after 9.5 years together.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, so much! That night and that spank literally changed my life

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex changed my life.
I want to experiment it with other people, men and women, to discover more of myself.
As a woman, I find it difficult to say openly I’m looking for recreational sex partners just to have fun and to explore my sexuality. I am afraid of being judged and I need to find someone I can trust. It takes a lot of trust to physically surrender to someone else, but when you are there with someone who knows and gives you What you want, need and crave, it’s a wild heaven.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great! I’m so happy I could share my Story in details.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!