Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
Religious affiliation: Raised Catholic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Somethin’ bout a Truck
How long ago did this hookup happen? One year ago
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s a real country type of guy, tall, white, muscular build, short hair. He’s not my type really, but he works construction and is strong and rough around the edges and that’s what attracted me to him physically (I was also turned on by his large back tattoo). He is pretty easy going and can keep up with my sarcastic sense of humor and he expressed genuine interest in me and my life, which is why I was attracted to him even more, despite our great differences. I knew him years ago while I was in high school. He is a few years older than me so we never went to school together, but we would often see each other at the same parties, as he was a part of the group that one of my good friends would hang out with. I don’t even recall talking with him much, but his boisterous personality at parties caught my attention. We became friends on Facebook and nothing much came of it. I recall one night that I was at a party and he may have attempted to flirt with me but I had a boyfriend and was not reciprocating.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I actually sent him a Facebook message on accident. I had meant to send it to one of my friends who was studying abroad at the time but when I went to click on her name she went offline and so, I ended up clicking on his name instead (both of their names start with the same letter, so they were listed right next to each other). The message was obviously not meant for him, and he responded accordingly. I realized my mistake and we laughed about it and that sparked some conversation. We mostly just caught up with each other and what had happened since high school. We talked about how we had both noticed each other at parties and such but wondered why we had never become friends. He mentioned something about a girlfriend that he had in high school and I told him I was always under the impression that he was single during that whole time. That’s when our current relationship statuses became topic of conversation. He was back together with his old girlfriend and I had recently broken up with my long term boyfriend (the same one I had in high school). At that point, although I was a bit disappointed I made up my mind that we were only going to be friends. So we chatted a lot and exchanged numbers. We talked a lot about trucks because I’ve always driven large trucks and he remembered that about me. I would ask him about some repairs I had to do on my newly acquired truck and we would talk about what we each like in a vehicle. The conversations often got suggestive, filled with sexual innuendos masked with truck talk. Eventually, the implied sexual nature of our friendship became more concrete and we spoke quite explicitly about the fact that we wanted to hook up with each other.
He was definitely the instigator because he was the first to mention that I was a turn on for him, and I was hesitant to participate because he had a girlfriend but I ultimately decided to play along because I had nothing to lose. Eventually after some sexting and exchanging of pictures we decided we should meet in person. We met for lunch while he was working one day and there was some definite sexual tension. We kept the conversation simple and platonic. It was kind of awkward because we were both thinking of other things but didn’t want to be the first to cross that line. Afterward when we parted ways we shared a long hug and I was expecting a kiss but, to my relief (I was struggling with the idea of flirting with a guy in a relationship let alone kissing one), he didn’t go in for one. After that, we continued to text like normal and we acknowledged the awkwardness of the whole thing. We hung out a couple more times and it was more comfortable. I think we probably made out a couple times. I was very clear that I thought he was an asshole for cheating on his girlfriend and that I didn’t want anything serious and that I wasn’t trying to be a home wrecker, but all that being said, I was single and horny and so I was in. One day while I was at home on my day off he texted and said he’d be getting off early and suggested we get a hotel room. I hesitated and himmed and hawed over it for a while but finally decided to be spontaneous and go for it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I booked a hotel and packed an overnight bag. I went to the room and just hung out watching TV (and getting really nervous) while I waited for him to get off work and come by. He got off work, stopped at home and then arrived at the hotel. I told him what room I was in and left the door unlocked. He walked in and I was sitting on the bed. I got up and we hugged and I was obviously very nervous (he was only the second man I would have ever been with sexually, which I told him). He was good at calming me down and making sure I knew we didn’t have to do it if I was too uncomfortable. I assured him I’m fine I just didn’t know how this worked. He said he didn’t either and he kissed me.
He’s a very passionate kisser. He pulls me in tight when he kisses me and I love the feeling of him holding me close with his strong arms. That eased all of my tensions away and we went to it. He sat me back down on the bed and kissed me more. I was wearing a dress and boots. He took my boots off while he told me he liked them. I smiled because I knew he would like them when I put them on. He then slid my panties off and started to eat me out. It was good and, in conjunction with my nerves being calmed and the anticipation of this day, I quickly became very wet. He received a call and checked his phone. It was his girlfriend! He explained he had to answer it. I agreed and was just floored. I was thinking, “Oh my god, I can’t do this! This guy has a girlfriend!” but I had recently developed a pretty pessimistic outlook on relationships and monogamy so, I boldly decided to continue this and ignore that he was on the phone with his girlfriend. I undid his pants and gave him a blowjob. I did this partially as a way to tell him to get the fuck off the phone, cuz it was weirding me out and I came here to do something crazy and to follow up on it. He quickly ended the phone call and enjoyed my performance.
He lifted me up and threw me back onto the bed. He grabbed a condom and put it on. He entered me while he was still standing by the side of the bed. It was such a release! We finally took that step and there was no going back now! He climbed up on the bed and pushed me up toward the pillows. We continued to have sex like that, with my legs over his shoulders. He finished and we took a break, watching TV. I told him I was gonna cuddle with him but not to take it the wrong way because I was just cold. He laughed and we laid there for a while.
Then I started kissing up his chest and we began making out again. I climbed up and straddled him and he said, “Oh are you ready to go again?” I nodded my head and bit my lip. He licked and sucked on my nipples, which is one of the most satisfying sensations for me and it drove me crazy. He tried putting on another condom and it broke, so we didn’t use one the second time. I almost stopped him and made him try another but I didn’t want to wait. He penetrated me again and this time I reached orgasm. I believe we did it one more time, but I can’t be certain.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom the first time. He pulled out the second time, and the third time (if there was a third time). We hadn’t talked about STIs beforehand, which worried me because I knew that he had had many sexual partners. We talked about it afterward though, and we had both been tested and had gotten clean test results. I probably also took the morning after pill just to be safe, because I wasn’t on birth control at the time.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was horny and a bit jaded after ending a long and somewhat toxic relationship, which is the reason I justified sleeping with a man in a relationship. I think I also just had some curiosity about him ever since we first knew of each other so long ago. I know he had told me that he was unhappy in his relationship and that they didn’t have sex as often as he’d like, so I’m assuming those were his reasons. We were both attracted to each other. Although, I think the fact that I knew it was so wrong was the biggest attraction of the situation to me.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No drugs. I had a beer before he arrived but nothing else.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt a bit uneasy. The sex was good and left me feeling satisfied but I was experiencing some guilt about sleeping with him because he was in a relationship. Ultimately, like I mentioned earlier, I justified my actions and reasoned with my jaded self, leaving me feel somewhat accomplished and rebellious and excited.
After the hook up he went home and we continued to text that night. We texted quite often following that day as well and we met up multiple times afterward for more hooking up. At the time, I was living with family while my apartment’s construction was being completed and he was living with his girlfriend. We didn’t want to blow money on hotels all the time so we would hook up in his truck often. That was such a turn on for me! I loved to ride him in the front seat and I would sometimes give him blowjobs while he was driving. We would go on long drives out to nowhere and we would get all sorts of handsy and the build up was amazing and the sex after that would be great too! It went on for about 10 months, although half way through that time he moved farther away so it wasn’t happening very often.
There was one time that he made some sort of reference to wanting to be with me but I ignored it because we were making out and I just wanted to get down to business and have sex. It had sort of been agreed that we wouldn’t make a good couple and I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship or to break him and his girlfriend up for me anyway. It was never discussed further after the one time he mentioned it. I stopped seeing him for a bit and didn’t talk with him much because I started to wonder whether I had feelings for him and I wasn’t ok with that. I didn’t want to get attached and hurt. Then, I realized that I was just missing the intimacy that I had in a relationship and I was also just unhappy that we couldn’t meet up very often. I know now that my feelings for him are mostly physical and friendly. We make great friends-with-benefits but would be a terrible couple. Just last night he told me that he and his girlfriend broke up. He was going to come over and I was really excited. It’s been a couple month now at least and I was looking forward to sharing the chemistry we’ve always had, but it didn’t work out…I guess we’ll see what happens from here.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a couple close friends, although I didn’t admit that we skipped the condoms after the first time. They reacted as I expected. They criticized me a bit about making the decision to sleep with him because he wasn’t single, but they also wanted all the details and did acknowledge that now that I am single it’s his bed and I’m just laying in it with him. I never told them about any other times though. Because I expressed to them that I felt worse about it than I actually did.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes it was consensual for both.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t. Although I know it was wrong I think this hook up has helped me step outside of my comfort zone in a lot of ways. Especially sexually. Because after breaking up with my first and only sexual partner I was afraid to be with a new man and experience that first time with someone new. I was glad that I had this hook up so I could feel comfortable while I was introduced to a new sexual world. It was nice to explore my limits with attachment too and be able to sort out what my feelings really mean when it comes to sex vs. relationships.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing about this hook up was the casual sense of the whole thing and the fact that I could experience sex with a new partner without worrying about any of the emotional or relationship issues. The worst part is that I was “the other woman” for a while. And I do know that was wrong and I had no reason or excuse to hurt this guy’s girlfriend. It has definitely changed the way I think about myself and casual sex. I realized that I am generally a very sexual person and that I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I learned that I can push past even my own boundaries. Casual sex can be harmless and fun (even though it wasn’t necessarily in this case, because of the risk of hurting the girlfriend)
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
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