Current location: New Zealand
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Company Director
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 31
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
How long ago did this hookup happen? 22 years
How would you best classify this hookup? One night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was 23 and living in a house share with flatmates in a quiet cul-de-sac. Across the road was quite a nice house that a family lived in. They went away for a while and had a guy housesitting for them. He invited some of his friends around and they were all staying there, I think there were 5 of them, all 18-19 years old, first year university students. They came across the road one day and knocked on our door – I answered and they asked if they could borrow a cup of sugar. They were kind of sniggering and acting a bit silly and I could tell it wasn’t even meant to be credible that they wanted to borrow sugar. I gave them some anyway and they introduced themselves then went away. Over the next few days I saw them round and we said hi to each other etc. In the weekend I saw them again and on Sunday one of them asked me if I would like to come over for a dip in the spa pool. I was pretty sure that they were hoping this might lead to something, but the thing was I was feeling really horny at the time and they were cute guys. I’d recently come out of a long-term relationship and had had my first ever one night stand which was a blazing success, so I was fairly open to trying it out again. So I accepted their invitation and went over the road for a spa. We had a few drinks in the spa pool and I was chatting to them. I figured that the way it was going it looked like any of them would be receptive, but I wasn’t interested in any more than one, so I was trying to pick which one. I talked to them about general stuff, their studies, what they liked to do etc. In the end I decided to pick the nicest one, by nicest I mean he had the best personality. He wasn’t the best looking and was a bit quieter and less show offy than the others. He had also taken more interest in me on a human level, and we’d had a more ordinary conversation. He was a bit shorter than the others and a couple of the others had better bodies, so I think that all of them thought he wouldn’t be the one. Maybe that was why he was being a little more normal in talking to me. He was nice enough looking, brown hair, kind eyes, and 18 so young and lovely.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I don’t really know what came over me because I’d always been quite shy about being forward in the past, maybe it was just the fact I was a little older and also the only woman there so couldn’t really fail, but once I’d decided, I started flirting like mad with him and making it clear I was interested. He seemed a bit surprised, but he was very willing to go with that. The other guys didn’t behave well. They sort of turned on both of us. They started treating me like a slut (even though it was clear as day any one of them would’ve had sex with me if I’d asked them to – double standard much) and then they tried to sabotage anything happening with the one I’d chosen by telling him he’d be an idiot to do anything with me, I must be some kind of horrible slut. Luckily he was a reasonably sensible boy and he told them he knew what he was doing and asked them to go inside.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So now it was just the two of us in the spa pool and we spent quite a long time just kissing and making out, and touching each other. It was really nice. In the end we did have sex in the spa pool, I bent over the edge of it and he entered me from behind. I was fairly sure the other 4 guys were watching from inside the house and it kind of turned me on more so the sex was satisfying and he came so I think it was for him too. After we’d done that, and got out of the spa pool they all reappeared and were making more snide remarks so I asked my new friend if he’d like to come back to my place with me and he said he would like to We went across the road and went to bed and had more sex. Just intercourse, and it wasn’t anything particularly spectacular, but enjoyable. He was good company actually and we chatted about a lot of things, including family, aspirations etc. He was also the first uncircumcised man I’d been with so he gave me a bit of a lesson about handling an uncircumcised penis that was quite useful and was a bit funny and we had a laugh over it. He stayed the night and we both slept. I had to go to work the next morning (it was my first year working as a lawyer after finishing university), so after I was dressed in my suit I walked him back home again just so I could show those guys I wasn’t ashamed of who I was and what I chose to do and would front up without apology or embarrassment.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Unfortunately none (a recurring problem I have in dealing with condoms). I was on the contraceptive pill.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was horny and it felt like a somewhat random and exciting opportunity had presented itself.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? some alcohol, not a great deal.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt reasonably good after the hookup, although I didn’t really want to repeat it. I liked the guy but he was young and in a different space and while the sex had been nice, it wasn’t amazing. I knew they were going to be gone in a few days so I did avoid bumping into him again.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t really talk to anyone about the hookup. My 3 flatmates knew though because the walls were paper thin in our house. They didn’t know about the spa pool bit. One of my flatmates was very disapproving of my behaviour and made that clear. This was the second one night stand I’d brought home within a few months and she thought that it was dangerous bringing strangers home and she didn’t like having to hear it (fair enough probably!).
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes and yes
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Overall no.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? the best thing was that I managed to have some sex again, which I was missing enormously after breaking up with my boyfriend. I was feeling very happy to be single and didn’t want to be in a relationship, but the absence of sex in my life was something I didn’t enjoy. I also discovered that I quite like the idea of being watched while I’m having sex.
The worst thing was dealing with the reaction from the other guys and having some direct experience of the double standard applied to women who enjoy casual sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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