by Henrik

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Spanish girl

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1,5 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Girl visiting from a different country. She was the friend of one of my friends. Around 30 years old, pretty face and a curvy figure. Round ass and huge tits. A very enthusiastic, lively girl. I was immediately attracted to her.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were drinking with 3 people. Her, my friend and myself. As we got more drunk a sort of competition between me and my friend developed. We agreed to not agree on anything and just to see if either of us could kiss her. When we moved bars it became obvious that she considered my friend exactly that, just a friend. She was showing a lot of affection (she started kissing me) towards me that was so obvious that my friend decided to leave. We were kissing and agreed to go to her hotel.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I booked a room (as she shared it with a friend) and she went to clean herself. 30 minutes later she showed up. We had sex in many positions, missionary, doggy style, her riding me, reverse cowgirl, her standing while I took her from behind and we watched it in the big hotel room mirror. She was a very good lover but disliked oral sex. I gave her some oral sex which she seemed uncomfortable with. After 45 minutes or something I wanted her to give me a blowjob but she did not seem to like that. Instead she gave me a handjob after which I came on her huge tits. Very nice sex. but I actually I preferred to have continued.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We were very drunk and fell asleep together quickly. When I woke up she was gone as she had to go on a trip. I felt very bad and even though I could do a hotel breakfast I decided to skip that. I went home and was sick the whole day. Later on she told me that she came back to my room twice but I did not hear hear knocking and calling in my alcoholic-sleep sate.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, withdrawal.

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it.

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent.

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To my friend that was present at this evening. He found it funny.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I had a girlfriend and she did not deserve my unfaithfulness at all.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sex was very good and she was a very nice person. I met someone special I really would have liked to meet more often.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Cheating. Also I could not meet her often as she lived in a different country.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Even though I have participated in casual sex myself often, I prefer an deeper connection to someone I have sex with. This I can only achieve in a monogamous relationship.

Also it haunts me to think about my current girlfriend engaging in casual sex. I know she did this often and as I am experienced with it myself I project my experiences onto her. For some reason it hurts to think about this and I think a bit less of her. I know I had nothing to do with this and that ALL her experiences made her into the person I love. I am ashamed of these thoughts as they display a male oriented double standard.

The thing that I dislike the most about casual sex is that people (including myself) do it also when in a monogamous relationship. The thought of my current girlfriend doing this haunts me.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Continue the good work. It is interesting and exciting to read 🙂

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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