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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 17
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

A Special Night with a Soldier

How long ago did this hookup happen? One year ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? John was a short handsome guy with a military-style cut blonde hair, blue eyes, a cute smile, and a witty sense of humor. I had met him on a dating app and we hit it off right away. I lived in a strict household at the time so I didn’t have much freedom to go out. After a few weeks of texting and Skyping we arranged to meet up after I got off of a late shift at work, around midnight, after my parents had already gone to sleep. He was a soldier living at a military base about an hour away from my town but he still wanted to make the drive down to see me, and all the way back up again. I really liked him and thought he was a sweet guy as well as a gentleman.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The night we first met up, we made out for an hour in his car after we hung out at a restaurant for a bit and talked. His shirt came off but I was on my period then so we couldn’t go much farther. We still agreed to see each other again, though. We had talked about sex before and he had suggested that we wait a little bit before doing it, since he was a virgin at the time and we both wanted to make it really special. But less than a week later he said he had been thinking and asked if I wanted to go all the way the next time we got together. I said yes, asked if he was sure, and he said yes, he thought that if it was with me, outside under the stars, that would be the perfect romantic setting.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So after another late shift at work, we met up and he followed my car to a park a few minutes away from where I worked. It didn’t say that it closed at any certain time, and there weren’t any other cars around so we figured it was okay. He brought a blanket for us to lie down on and we found a spot near a bush with a great view of the sky. Nothing surrounding us except grass, trees and a playground about ten feet away. We got comfortable and looked up at the sky watching the stars, finding all the constellations that we could see, and cuddled a bit.

We looked into each other’s eyes, and before he kissed me I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do this, and he said yes, asked the same from me, and I said yes. We kissed, touched each other, feeling the cool November air on our bare skin. I was nervous at the time since we were outside and I was afraid someone would see us in the dark. I jumped at different sounds, but he was very sweet and protective, assured me that it was just leaves, and continued to gently kiss me. I gave him a really good blowjob, hearing him moan, knowing that I was the first to make him feel this good. Even though he had never done it before, he offered to return the favor, and he was so good. I think that was the first time I orgasmed during oral.

Then we were finally ready to go all the way, so he slipped a condom on and we started to do missionary. I could feel myself tightening up as he entered me, which felt so good. I asked him how it felt and he said, “It feels…fucking…awesome.” We continued like that for a bit, then I suggested that I go on top. I started out slow, barely moving, but then found my rhythm and I definitely got a bunch of mini bursts of pleasure. I don’t quite remember how it ended, although I do know that he was struggling to cum, then he just figured that he already did and didn’t know that he was.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterwards, we held each other, still naked and take some more about our pasts. We decided that after that night, we would officially be boyfriend and girlfriend, which made me really happy. We made out a lot before we went back to our cars to go home, and he was a really good kisser. I left feeling really good about the whole thing.

A week later, a little after the Paris attacks happened, he suddenly told me that he had to leave on a classified assignment, and that he wouldn’t be back for several months. I was shocked and a little bit upset. It turns out that he had known for a while that he might have had to leave but he wasn’t sure, but it was confirmed a week before we hooked up, and that was what changed his mind about wanting to have sex with me. He couldn’t tell me much, but he did say that he was going to an undisclosed location, not overseas, not on the battlefield, and that it would be extremely hard to contact him. He could have been lying about everything, he could have just wanted to hook up and then never see me again, but the connection that we had for over a month made me believe that he was genuine. Thinking on it now, he could have been lying about not going into a combat situation so that I wouldn’t be worried. Maybe he wanted to have one last passionate night with someone and make every moment count. That’s what I’d like to believe. He told me that it would be best if we just said goodbye, told me that it would be better if I forget him, but I told him that there was no way I ever would because what we had meant something really special to me. In my heart I know that he won’t forget me either, if I was really his first. I told him that I loved him, even though I knew he couldn’t say it back, which he confirmed, but maybe he did still love me a little to protect me from more hurt if we did still keep in contact and something happened to him. In which case, all I feel now is even more love for him, almost one year later.

And I never saw or heard from him again. I tried contacting him about a month ago but he didn’t answer. I don’t know if he’s even still alive.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My close friend. They just like hearing about my sex stories.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being close to him, doing it in an intimate setting

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Having to lose him to war, not knowing where he is now or if he’s still alive.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I already knew that I got attached to quickly. Before, I never had sex if I didn’t have genuine feelings for the person and if I didn’t want a relationship out of it. It made me think of sex as a more beautiful and intimate action, though, if it’s used in the right way, in the right setting, with the right feelings.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I still think of him from time to time, a part of me will always carry love for him. If he suddenly came back years later, I would feel no different than I do right now. I miss him very much and I hope that if he’s still out there, that he will still remember me, too.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? A great place to anonymously share your feelings about your sexual experience, I love the sense of community that we all share by posting our stories here.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!