Location: Eastern Europe
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years
How would you best classify this hookup? Three-hour stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was stuck in an unhappy and namely sexually frustrating relationship at the time. Finally I was frustrated enough to start to search for contacts on a kinky dating website. Many contacts were somewhat weird and did not match my interests, but the contact to this woman (I will call her M here) was different. She was obviously intelligent, eloquent and at the same time sexy. We started to chat and explored our humor and found this quite thrilling and basically I would say we liked each other. We also discussed what we liked and disliked in sex quite explicitly, as obviously we were online on that page for the same reason, so why should we be shy? This way both of us maintained privacy (we only knew our forum-nicknames) had started to get to know each other without having ever met or ever heard our voices, and just by chance we came up with the idea to carry this some decisive steps further.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Planning in fact was crucial. We proceeded just as planned: I selected a hotel in the anonymity of a major city and checked in, obtaining two keycards for the room. Then I sat at the agreed time – late afternoon – in the coffee-bar-area of the hotel, reading a book, having a coffee. One keycard I placed on my table. I then sent a message through a chat app of my mobile to her simply indicating the room number. As agreed she then entered the bar, sat down at the neighbouring table and we did not look at each other. In our previous chats we had agreed explicitly that each of us would make a deliberate choice at that moment and could simply quit the experience and leave. But none of us did. As agreed precisely five minutes after she sat down, M got up, calmly grabbed the keycard and left. I did not look after her. Ten minutes after that I left the bar, heading for the room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When I entered the room, I found that M abided by the agreed rules: she was lying in the bed, naked (her clothes were on a chair), but covered. She had chosen to turn her face to the window, so she could not see me. I very calmly undressed. In the quiet room, the sound of my clothing coming off my body, the snatches opening etc. were the only sounds to be heard. I was totally thrilled and so was she. I think much of the thrill was due to the fact that it was so shameless not to say outrageous to have sex with someone I knew almost nothing of, neither the name nor having ever heard the voice. Our common plan actually had ended at the point where she would await me naked in the bed. We had not discussed what we would do then, but with one exception: we would not talk to each other until after having left the room. And this is precisely what we did.
I sneaked under the blanket and embraced her slowly. I caressed and explored her thoroughly, before she became more active. Without haste, but with determination we enjoyed each others warmth, natural scent, taste and tenderness. Neither of us followed a specific plan. We completely surrendered to intuition. The sex involved me going down on her, fucking, a lot of caressing, her going down on me and more fucking (missionary, doggy and anything in between), some sleeping (a quarter of an hour maybe) and more fucking afterwards. I totally enjoyed the freedom to just take her the way I felt I wanted, gently first, more tough fucking later on. I also liked to feel that she was enjoying as well and only did what she liked. I came two times and felt completely satisfied. I do not know whether she orgasmed and frankly I did not feel responsible for that – just as I have enjoyed her she clearly had taken me just the way and as long as she wanted. While I like to contribute to it, I generally refuse to feel responsible for the sexual joy of my partner, as I feel this would lead to pressure and an uneasy feeling. Yes, she was a good lover. Not the fuck of my life, but it was as good as expected. And it seemed like she always just wanted the pace and power that I wanted to give. We finally both just stayed like we were for a while, then I got up and had a shower. Afterwards she did the same. We assisted each other in dressing (still in silence), without haste and with a broad smile in our faces.
Then we left the room.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms but not discuss STI history.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I desperately missed tenderness and sex.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After we had left the room we immediately started to talk, had quite a lot to say. But I actually found that the chemistry was not as good as in the chat. We had dinner together in a nearby restaurant and I walked her to the local train and we kissed goodbye as her train arrived.
The rush of hormones was nice, but somehow the experience was unreal. We would not talk to each other until after having left the room. Of course it was exactly this that made the afternoon so exceptional, but also it contributed to a clear feeling of strangeness. I did not integrate it into my identity, so it remained unreal. I did not know what to do with it and was reluctant to get in touch again. When I finally did, a few days later, we agreed on another meeting for sex, which I called off, as I had met somebody for whom I was not sure whether I would develop emotions. I told M openly, and learned that she reacted with some bitterness to it. After some weeks I found out that the other person was not what I had hoped for. Then I got in touch with M again, only to find out that she was not interested anymore.
I do not have contact data of or other information about M. I feel a bit sorry for her if she had fallen in love with me, but hope for her and wish her all the best.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was definitely consensual, at all times.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do not regret it. It is about the kinkiest thing I have ever done.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that we took time to go slowly and managed not to act under pressure but very authentic. We also had a perfectly clear basis of what we wanted and accepted that we simply were horny and wanted tenderness.
The worst thing was the bitterness in her comment when I called off the second meeting. This gave me the impression that M might have left the common ground of meeting just for the joy of sex but might have developed feelings for me – or rather might have mistakenly believed that the joy she had experienced was more than just sex and tenderness.
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I would like to discourage everyone who would consider to do what M has done. The risk that a man you meet on the internet is dangerous might not be high, but the consequences if he is are just too bad to take this risk just because you hope to meet someone who is a gentle lover and a good fuck. So I thank M for being unreasonably brave. She gave me an unforgettable, unreal, and very nice experience.
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