by J

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? NZ
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? PA
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6

Started Well, Ended After Sex

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Met at a party. Average looking, very sweet guy. Said he had recently lost a lot of weight and he was now very fit and played competitive sport. We dated for several weeks. He genuinely wooed me. He asked me to be his girlfriend. He seemed genuinely hurt when I said I wasn’t quite there yet. As lovely as he was, I had a few niggles about him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We spent many nights at his place watching movies in bed. Well, starting to watch movies but ending up seriously making out. There was strong chemistry. I told him I don’t rush into sleeping with people. He was ok with that, but said he didn’t know how much longer he could wait. I started to feel pressured.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I suggested a weekend away. He was keen. As soon as we got to the hotel we got naked on the bed. I threw caution to the wind and, despite having no protection and going against my conviction, initiated sex. He asked me if I was sure. I was sure I felt obligated to finally fuck him, so I politely affirmed. I came really quickly (I never come during sex!) We tried several positions. I was over it after my orgasm but let him keep going (would a guy do this?) He came too. That was the end of the fun stuff….

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had dinner. Conversation was a little off. He had a migraine (apparently) so we went back to bed and…watched an insect documentary!! (Seriously?! You’re at a hotel with your ‘girlfriend’ and you would rather watch an insect documentary?! I’m insulted!) It gets worse. He tells me he needs to use the bathroom and go “number twos”. He comes out after ten minutes and tells me that he made his farts circle the toilet bowl. WTF?!?!?! What did I do wrong?! The next morning he watched The Simpsons in bed, and suggested we split the hotel bill. We saw each other one more time but then I cut him off. I was silently appalled at his schoolboy behaviour but never told him this. It was awkward and insulting, having finally slept with him, the one and only time.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more confident, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, perceived obligation

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I initiated it against my conviction

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? He wasn’t going to say no

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Two close girlfriends. They found the toilet-humour story both hilarious and appalling

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I did quite like the guy but I felt like he lost respect for me

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I actually had an orgasm during intercourse, and fast. Possibly the first and only time it has happened so fast. Guys never make me come.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? His post-coital schoolboy behaviour! How-to-get-rid-of-a-girl-fast 101!!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Although I went against my conviction and slept with him sooner than ideal (for me), I was stoked that I had an orgasm during sex. One I had no control over.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I will never be a fan of casual sex due to my religious background. It’s ingrained in me that pre-marital sex is wrong. And that is a whole other can of worms….

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great reading real life stories (at least the seem genuine 😉
I am searching for more ‘negative’ stories so I don’t feel like the only person who has had mostly negative experiences here

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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