Location: New Zealand
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Management Consultant
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends-with-benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Slim attractive blond woman who looks much younger than her years (same age as me). Have known each other since we were teenagers but now live 12,000 miles apart. Hooked up through the internet – she was searching for old friends – or so she told me. Corresponded by internet, flirted a little and she invited me to visit. Flew over for brief holiday and stayed at her home – in separate room! Never had any romantic connection previously.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Two or three days after arrival went to theatre with other friends, returned home and went to bed together and moved into her bedroom – at her invitation.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Normal straight sex – with orgasm (both of us). Clearly an experienced lover. We had an excellent time and I returned home afterwards. We were very close for 10 days. I returned 8 months later stayed longer and the arrangement continued.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We discussed STIs and she told me she had not had intercourse for 10 years and I had recently had a surgical procedure and had full blood work up which included STIs and HIV. We had unprotected sex.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? She is an attractive woman I have known for years and she invited me to share her bed.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None, we both drink a little but only one or perhaps two drinks were consumed beforehand.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had no expectations, we just got along very well and enjoyed each others’ company for 2 weeks. I had expected the relationship to develop but she turned out to be dishonest as I learned when she took a call from a former partner just as one sex session finished. I had been told that relationship was over – it clearly was not. I was being used to get back at him as he is a very well known businessman who had provided her with sex and economic support – the latter was and is considerable.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Her daughter aged 30+ and a female friend from her school days. They were both pleased as they both want the relationship with the narcissistic businessman to end.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? My spouse has not questioned me though is aware of the friendship.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I regret being used but that’s all.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sex was fantastic and a natural extension of the friendship. I have not changed my view on casual sex. The worst thing about the relationship was being lied to by someone who had been honest with me for 3 decades.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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