Hookups Are Everywhere, so Why Are They Still Taboo?

We’ve all heard about “hookup culture,” the idea that “kids today” (AKA millennials AKA people born in the 80s through the early 2000s) aren’t interested in long-term relationships or even emotionally invested short relationships, just hookups, physical and sexual satisfaction without any emotional investment.

And if you’ve been paying attention, you’ve probably read the articles saying hookup culture is a myth and studies of millennials suggest that this generation actually isn’t hooking up as much as previous generations.

Is it possible that…both are true? Millennials aren’t hooking up as much as pop culture suggests and they generally don’t have as many different partners as previous generations. They’re still interested in long-term relationships and intimacy! However, society’s attitudes about casual sex, from one night stands to flings to friends with benefits, have changed. As this Bustle video explains, increased gender equality has had a profound effect on sex and hookup culture.

Did you catch Casual Sex Project creator Dr. Zhana Vrangalova? She explained how birth control revolutionized women’s ability to have casual sex by nearly eliminating the biological consequences, that is, pregnancies. (Fun fact, the teen birthrate is the lowest ever after peaking in 1991. Thanks, condoms and birth control!)

Birth control isn’t the only change making hookups easier, safer, and more acceptable than ever before. Dating apps empower people to be selective about their sexual partners and find people outside of their immediate social groups to date.

Condoms make STIs less likely. More women are graduating from college and seeking partners who are on their intellectual and educational level–they’re not automatically marrying their high school boyfriend. And, better education about female sexual pleasure means more women confidently enjoy sex. All of these variables combine to create a new, liberated group of women who date and sleep with people on their terms. This goes for men, too! Feminism is helping to promote equality in the dating world for all genders.

This means…millennials have sex for fun! They experiment with different partners and relationship structures. They hookup intentionally and don’t think sex should be shameful. They don’t see marriage as their ultimate accomplishment in life, or even an accomplishment at all. Marriage isn’t going away, but the road to marriage is more winding and varied than it used to be.

Enough with the cliched metaphors. Let’s get back to the hookups.

Earlier this month, we shared a casting call from a TV producer seeking men who feel empowered by dating apps and use the apps find hookups and have casual sex. You’re probably thinking, that’s pretty much everyone? We thought so, too, so we were surprised to learn that they were still looking for folks to interview. Since we have a website full of casual-sex-havers, we’re throwing it to you.

Here’s the casting call again:

Documentary on Dating Apps & Casual Sex

Herzog & Company is working on a documentary about how dating apps have helped people have access to more casual sex. They are currently looking for single men under 30 interested in sharing their casual sex experiences stemming from dating apps. If you’re interested or want more information, please email [email protected]

A message from Sandra Alvarez: This is a great opportunity to understand how dating apps are helping people find any type of sexual relationship they’re looking for. We want to understand it from a side of empowerment so we are looking for someone outgoing, relatable ,and who is open about their experiences with the apps. 

Casting call for dating apps users

The producer is also creating episodes centered around people who believe they might be addicted to porn or who spend a lot of time webcamming. In comparison, using a dating app to find casual sex partners sounds pretty tame! According to the Pew Research center,15% of US adults have used dating apps and the stigma of using them has decreased dramatically. And yet, people seem more likely to confess to paying a camgirl or camboy for online companionship than to discuss using a dating app for hookups. Is it possible that the advances in dating culture that using a dating app for hookups is still more stigmatized than paying a cam model or spending hours each day watching porn?

It is truly fascinating to us that despite the cultural changes that have lead to a greater acceptance of casual sex, individuals are still reluctant to talk openly about how they’re personally empowered by hookup apps to have the sex life they want to have. This technology has connected people like never before and has allowed people of all genders to take full control of their sexual lives, going after exactly the relationships they desire. With this in mind, it’s interesting that honest stories about hooking up remain taboo.

We know people use apps for hookups, your stories prove it! So, if you’re brave enough and empowered by the advances that have led us to the current sexual freedom, reach out to Sandra Alvarez to be interviewed: [email protected] or [email protected]

We promise, this show isn’t Catfished! And they are not trying to portray sexual people as sexual deviants – they genuinely want to explore the more stigmatized corners of sexual expression.