Life Changing

by Alexis

Gender: f
Age: 30
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: South Dakota
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Government
Religious affiliation: Lutheran
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Life Changing

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, paid sex; something else.)? One-night stand turned first long term affair

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was not someone I typically would have approached, appeared very smart, professional, and dressed differently than I. We were staying in the same hotel for a week and he helped me deal with a rude and incompetent desk clerk as I was timid.

We were/ are both married to others.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? In the hallway of the hotel towards the end of our stay he asked to go get beers. It had been YEARS since I’d been asked out on a real date, aside from random pickup lines in bars, so I was flabbergasted but agreed.

At the bar we talked for HOURS and hit it off. At first neither revealed our marriage status but soon enough we had pillow talk and confided in each other things neither had shared before to anyone.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He performed oral on me, then I on him. We had amazing sexual intercourse in multiple positions which lasted and was reported in the morning and for the remainder of our stay. He has since taught me so much, sexually, and I have never cum as many times before or since, except when we hook up.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms each session initially but don’t any longer.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? It was an action of opportunity and empowerment! My husband wasn’t working much and I craved a partner as successful as I.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We drank a lot the first night but only occasionally during later visits.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I didn’t know how to feel afterwards, initially. We got back together a week later and laid out expectations of each other. Our casual hookup then turned into my first long term, casual affair. No gifts, no birthdays, no anniversaries, just dinner at times, drinks, and lots of sex when we happen to be in the same town at the same time.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I haven’t spoken to anyone in a sober state about it. While intoxicated I revealed the affair to two ex-cheating coworkers. They weren’t surprised and in fact, shared that they saw my confidence and job performance improve. He’s shared it with a buddy, but no one else, he’s said.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Not initially. He’s done this before so maybe I was prey, not sure. I’m sure not complaining, though!

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best: I felt like me again, I had increased confidence, I felt lust again, it was and still is fun and exciting.

Worst: Lying to my devoted and loving husband. Also the fact that I’ve since engaged in multiple hook ups, and two other affairs, including having met men from an online cheating saying site. My other affairs involve one man as more of friends, but the other scares me. He causes me to want to end all other affairs and end my marriage for him. Too bad he’s married too. I’ve also wanted to get involved in casual hookups with women but haven’t made that happen yet, mainly due to my new boyfriend consuming me.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? It was definitely a gateway hookup to better sexual explorations.

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