Losing It

by Rebecca
Gender: Female

Age: 17
Race/ethnicity: White British
Location: England
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: Atheist/Antitheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Gender doesn’t matter but I find myself mainly attracted to males
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Losing It

How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 months

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’d just started college and I met this boy in one of my classes, he sold me some gig tickets and we both went to the gig then we text each other constantly over the weekend after the gig. It was on a Friday, and by the Monday I was at his house and I lost my virginity to him. We’d known each other for about 4 days.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We didn’t really plan it. We’d said it might happen when I came round but when I arrived we both decided we really wanted to and I was a bit scared because it was my fist time but I thought it would be a fun, spontaneous way to have my first time.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We did a lot of foreplay, a lot of oral, I was pretty relaxed around him considering he was almost a stranger to me. I did orgasm, twice I think, he was really nice to me and he knew it was my first time so when it got round to actual sex he kept asking if I was ready and stuff and he was really gentle and patient about it. I’d say he’s good in bed. We had a lot of fun with it and I remember laughing a lot because he’s pretty funny. I think it ended abruptly when some of his family came home early.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom, I asked him about STIs and he said he was clean and I knew I was because I’d never done anything with anyone before.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was just living very spontaneously over that summer, I kissed a random stranger at a festival, I got my friends to give me a stick and poke tattoo, I was just having a lot of fun and this was just another spontaneous thing I wanted to do and I have to say it did make me really happy.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No, it was the middle of the day, about 2-3pm. Too early to get drunk.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well we stayed friends with benefits for a month but didn’t see each other much. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and now we’re still together and we’ve been going out for 8 months so I guess you could say it went pretty well from there!

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I’m not ashamed of talking about sex with people so as soon as I left his house I text about 5 of my friends excitedly telling them ‘GUESS WHAT I JUST HAD SEX’ and they were all very excited to know the gory details and it turns out 2 more of my friends lost their virginities in the same weekend.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes definitely, and I like to think we both enjoyed it, I think it was a pretty good first time.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I honestly don’t regret it at all. I mean in the end a relationship came out of it but that’s not why. If we never saw each other again after it, I still don’t think I’d regret it. I was living spontaneously and I was proud of myself for doing something daring and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so proud in my life.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing is I now have a boyfriend I love thanks to it. The worst thing is it hurt so much. After this I think casual sex is great and I’d recommend having casual sex to anyone because who knows where it might lead? I feel better about myself because of it, I’ve got a lot more confidence and higher self esteem knowing I had the guts to just do that with someone I barely knew just because I wanted to.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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