What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Housewife
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Oh, I’d have to get out an excel spreadsheet! I’m guessing around 40.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Sex With My Friend’s Husband
How long ago did this hookup happen? A year and a half ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? First of Many
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He, let us call him J, is the best looking guy I’ve ever been with easily. Tall, handsome and rich. One of my best friends, E, first started dating him I warned her not to fall for him too much. We were both experienced girls, but I had the common sense to not actually marry the playboys we were fucking. But she fell head over heels with him and got married later that year (this was 2011.) Since then I’ve seen E quite often, and there always was chemistry and energy between me and her guy, but it never really amounted to anything.
By the time of this hookup, I have married myself to a far more wonderful, faithful man than my friend married. I was certain that my friend’s husband cheated on her regularly but she deluded herself into thinking she was in a faithful relationship, and I had already had a few affairs myself (minor ones, mostly).
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This was January of last year. E threw a party for her obnoxious one-year-old’s birthday and invited a LOT of people to her house to show off her wealth, I supposed. Anyway, as one of her best friends I was of course invited so I showed up with my husband and we hung out where we all started having a nice barbecue. I wore a pretty short dress and stilettos and was quite flirty with J, but that was not anything new. What was new was the amount of attention he was giving to me back. I didn’t know if it was because I hadn’t seen him for a while and had been working on being more fit since I last saw him, but in either case, there was even more energy than usual there. I didn’t really try to make it amount to anything and for most of the day, it didn’t. However I soon had to use the washroom, but the downstairs guest washroom was taken, so E told me to use the washroom upstairs.
Upstairs I bumped into J, who was looking for something upstairs. He saw me and we flirted a bit, and then I asked him to show me the way to the washroom. I thought I could have found it myself but anyway. He put his hand on my waist, which made my mind go crazy and directed me there.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end?
I’m still not sure who exactly instigated it, but I do remember arriving at the washroom and him not really letting go, and me pulling him in. Anyway, we locked the door and started kissing. I didn’t really think about E at all. I just knew I needed J right now. So we made out, and he pulled my dress up and grabbed ass. I was enjoying the foreplay, but soon I realized we needed to hurry up, and pushed J’s pants down. He pulled my panties down and we started fucking (in a standing position with me facing the other way). But almost as soon as we did I heard footsteps and a knock and E asking me if I saw J on my way up. I said no. After I was certain E was away, I told J we needed to hurry up, so he pushed me to the floor and started fucking me hard. Normally I’m a germaphobe but I didn’t give a fuck then and I was being fucked great as J was a great lover even in an uncomfortable position like that. A few minutes passed, before a second, a far louder, knock on the door suddenly made me realize I had been moaning pretty loud, and J grunting. I knew it was E, and she obviously knew what had happened. I felt guilty and kind of wanted to stop, but J kept going on and I pushed back against him, trying to get him to finish quickly. It was still great sex, but the last few minutes I was just wondering whether E would tell everyone downstairs.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now?
E didn’t tell anyone. J came in me, and I spent a few minutes tidying up and then came downstairs looking, I think, normal. E glared at me for the next hour, but I mostly just stuck with my husband and tried to avoid her.
J and I didn’t meet again for about 3 weeks afterward, however, I got pregnant and I’m nearly certain that it was from the encounter with J (I’ve never checked to make sure, but that WAS my peak day.) I was stupid not to use plan B, but I decided it’s not my baby’s fault and decided to keep him (thankfully! He’s the best thing in my life.) J thinks he’s his baby too (though my husband is the legal father), and because of that we got closer and had a pretty long affair for the next year. Since then we’ve both moved on to other affair partners but see each other occasionally.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why just went along with it, It was easy/convenient
How intoxicated were you? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? E obviously found out that day, and she knows about our affair but looks the other way. She stopped talking to me about it, so I lost a friend and gained a lover. On the other hand, my other best friend thinks it’s good as it kept me happy for a long time and my husband never found out, so no one was really hurt.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It felt great. I’ve always wanted J and sex with him was as good as I imagined. However the best thing is that I believe that I, miraculously, had a baby with J AND my husband and I are raising him as our own, which is perfect for me to be honest.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? E made us rush it a bit, and I would have preferred if we had done it on a bed. We’ve had plenty of sex in more comfortable locations since then but I wish the first time had been a bit less rushed and a bit more romantic.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yeah, it opened up my relationship with J, and I fell in love with him afterward. It showed me that I could love two men at once equally and that was an important lesson.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have always been quite open to it and it has helped me live a more free life compared to people who restrict themselves about it. It’s natural and enjoyable and shouldn’t be suppressed.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a great website!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!