A Long Wait



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 17
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? College Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A Long Wait

How long ago did this hookup happen? The past few weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? White male around my age (17-18), average height, very funny and outgoing. Met 3 years ago in high school and became really good friends. Last year, he started coming onto me (although I didn’t realize it at the time) even though he had a steady girlfriend. When I finally figured it out I was emotionally distraught and felt used. I refused to cheat with him even though I had feelings for him, and a lot of trust was broken. He broke up with his gf and seemed to want to start a relationship with me but then he started dating another girl 2 years his junior instead. During this time I sorted out all my emotions an for we became good friends again. This summer his baby gf dumped him and we started hooking up. I used to feel ashamed that I was pining and waiting for him, but now I think my feelings are gone and I just wanted to get him out of my system.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were just hanging out after his baby gf dumped him when he started coming onto me again really unsubtly (hand around the waist, rubbing my thigh/butt). I went with it and kissed him and we started hooking up every few days. At first, it was just handjobs and oral, and he let me control the pace (because I had never been with another person before) but eventually we had sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The sex was pretty good but I think he was more attracted to me than I was to him. Oral both ways, and vaginal sex. He was really hot for it and kept pulling out so he wouldn’t cum too fast. It was my first time so it wasn’t amazing, but it felt pretty good and I had a good time. It was also emotionally vindication because I felt like I was making a conquest.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We are still friends, but I think our friendship has become more shallow due to the hookup. I am not too torn up about it, because I feel that our true friendship was shattered when he tried to cheat on his gf with me. In the future, I wouldn’t mind hooking up again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend. She congratulated me on figuring out my feelings and being in control of my emotions the entire time.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I was empowered; he would always tell me how hot I was and how much I turned him on when I did ___. Also, the penetrative aspect is much better than masturbation.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He wasn’t the best sexual partner (not enough attention to the clit) or maybe I just wasn’t attracted to him enough

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am more accepting of the fact that I can sleep with someone and keep my romantic feelings out of it. However, I do not think sex with strangers is something that I would enjoy.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? My experience with porn and erotica has caused me to vastly overestimate the perfection/amazingness of sex; I am glad I got this realistic experience. Hopefully, future encounters will be even better!

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe that people should be emotionally mature and stable when having any sort of physical or emotional relationship. Spur of the moment decisions or things are done out of anger or revenge are not good for your mental well being

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Casual Sex Project is a great way to see how the real world views and experiences sex! This topic is too taboo in society so people always have unrealistic expectations!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!