Adding A 2nd Lover To Open Relationship

by Kate

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 68
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Kansas City
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Retired
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation:
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I have had sex with 2 female friends which I enjoyed.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Adding A 2nd Lover To Open Relationship

How long ago did this hookup happen? This month

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? DB and I had gone on a couple of dates before just to get know each other and had a couple of sexual encounters. Whenever my primary partner and I invite someone to be a part of our open relationship, we spend time explaining the parameters and that we both really are okay with our partners fucking someone else. The well educated men I invite to participate are usually blown away by the fact that my partner and I have been together for 40 years and are very happy.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We made a date to have dinner and spent a few hours in bed exploring sexual preferences. Dinner went well but I could tell my date was nervous. When we arrived at the hotel, we got into bed and started making out, gradually discarding clothing. I could see that he was fully erect so I was going to suck him but he stopped me and buried his face in my pussy. He sucked, licked and fingered me until I came. I am very vocal when I come so I was muffling my screams by biting down with a wash cloth clenched in my teeth and writhing to his touch.

Then he straddled me thrusting but the angle wasn’t a good alignment so I asked him to stop so I could position my legs over his shoulders and then he thrust until he climaxed.

We rested for a short while. His penis was limp so I sucked him until he became fully erect. I mounted him, held his hands, and rode him hard.

We rested again. We applied lube to my vagina and had sex again doggy style with me varying the position from table top to cat to mountain.

We rested again. When we were both ready, we finished in missionary with me grinding roughly against him.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? For me, it was basic vanilla sex. For him, it was basic plus a much higher level of female dominance and asking for what I wanted.

It was a good basic encounter with potential for both of having new sexual energy and the opportunity to learn new skills.

We talked about how to make it work given our schedules and other lovers.

He was very respectful.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great. Spoke to my primary lover and my hook up and we all agreed that this could work.

The new lover and I are meeting Sunday for a six-hour date. We have planned to spend 2 hours in bed trying out Kama Sutra positions, go to brunch, then come back and try out some more.

While my primary lover and I have been together for 40 years, my secondary lovers usually last about a year. My primary lover has a secondary lover he has been seeing for 5 years plus he gets hit on a lot when he travels and sometimes responds and has sex with an attractive unknown woman staying at his hotel.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My longtime partner and one of my single girlfriends. My longtime partner was very happy that I had a good sexual experience and expected to see the new lover again.

My girlfriend is all for responsible erotic sex.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was fun and satisfying erotic experience.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, I have a very positive view open relationships combined with casual sex partners.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Learning how to find a good casual hookup takes time. I much prefer it to picking up partners in bars because it gives me the opportunity to find a good candidate.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to see casual sex accepted in many ways. First as a supplement to a primary relationship marriage or long-term partner. I would also like to casual sex raise women as equals who want to have sex as much as men do.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting idea. I think it adds to our understanding of human sexuality.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!