An Implicitly Poly Life

by Selene

Gender: Female
Age: 21
Race/ethnicity: Asian
Current location: Canada
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Research assistant
Relationship status: I have a boyfriend.
Religious affiliation: Vague paganism.
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? I have only a limited experience with women, but have found previous female sexual partners to be as attractive as my previous male ones.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50-60 including oral sex, 35-40 male partners who participated in vaginal sex, five female sex partners.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

An Implicitly Poly Life

How long ago did this hookup happen? Ongoing over the past year.

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Depending on the POV, Cheating, or Multiple life partners-with-benefits.
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I am currently involved with five men on a regular to semi-regular basis, one of whom is my boyfriend (who’s also my age). Sadly, I am aware that he would never be okay with an open relationship, and while I have never actively pursued other partners, I’ve still managed to develop a small stable of men in my life.

Mr. A is around 26. Tall, fit, white, handsome, brainy. I met him through university; his family had moved here in order to have him work here, and as a friendly citizen I offered to show him around. The longest ongoing of my present hook-ups, we started almost exactly a year ago, and have had encounters about every two to three weeks. I liked him enough that showing him around the city ended up with me showing him my community, and then my place.

Mr. B is around 28. Tall, handsome, dark hair, broad shoulders, muscly. After leaving my old retail job in eight months ago for an internship, my old coworkers took me out for drinks. I met this guy, danced with him, and thought he’d forget me; he remembered me, and we’ve been meeting about every twenty days or so

Mr. C is my age. Tall, good looking, smart. We’ve been friends for a while, and about seven months ago I turned to him for help in a family situation. We’re both love-inclined people, and so I’m not surprised by his comfort. While I see him weekly in friendly circumstances, every three or four weeks I’ll have another meet-up with him.

Mr. D is around 26 again. Tall, dark, handsome. A friend I made online, I found out he did grad work at another university in my city, and I was more than happy to meet him. He’s focused on his work, though, so of the men I’m involved with, he’s the most detached, and I’ll only see him once a month.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? To keep this focused on one hookup, I’ll just describe my last experience with Mr. A.

Mr. A likes taking me out to parties when he can, so I’m more than happy to do so and have a few drinks with him. My father’s always been a strict man, and so growing up I was never allowed to “party” until university happened. When the party ended, A and I walked to a nearby park and just chatted for a while about life. He asked me if I wanted to go home with him and have a late dinner, as the party hadn’t served food (my boyfriend works early, so I didn’t plan on sleeping over with him). I acted girly and silly on the way to his place, probably because of the drinks, and I know that turns him on.

Nobody seemed to pay us any attention as we walked, drunkenly, to his place, which was probably a good thing. A started telling me that he was turned on, and how jealous he was that my boyfriend has access to me whenever he wants. At his place, A pulled out a few more drinks, which really got our social lubrication on. The benefits of having a long-term hookup partner is that you don’t need to perform right away, so both of us fell asleep, clothed, on his bed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Sometime during the night, I remembered slipping out of my clothes and slipping him out of his clothes for bare cuddling. I started talking to him, and we had more talking time about life and current things we were doing. These experiences are always about the intimacy for me, and I remember stroking his naked body. I guided his head down until it was between my legs, and didn’t bother holding back my first orgasm. I gave him oral sex for a while to make sure the alcohol wasn’t going to affect his performance.

I remember realizing “oh, we’re doing this, alright” as I started to get more of a response from him. It was extremely satisfying to know that he was still responsive this late in the night. He sat up on the bed to compose himself at this point, and I guess that’s when we decided to keep going. More chit-chat, nice and polite things at this point, which is always odd when we have each others’ fluids on our faces. We didn’t talk too much though, as we both were starting to prep ourselves for the main event. He got up to get some lube, always a necessity for people with my petite frame.

I fooled around with my hands for a while, putting them all over his body, and lubing up what needed to be lubed. I orgasmed again when I slipped myself onto him, something I had begun to need by that point. I asked him to flip us over and then he was on top, which always offers me the best view. I began getting really into it at this point, and started doing everything I could to stimulate myself. At this point I just closed my eyes and let the sensations take over my body, because like I said I’m all about that intimacy.

He came, I came again, he came again, and then I let myself fall asleep under him. I rode him for a morning quickie a few hours later, then showered and had to go about my day.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I had a clitoral one when he ate me out, and two g spot orgasms due to penetration that night. The morning after, I had one g spot orgasm due to penetration.

He came inside me twice that night, and once the following morning.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We have been intimate for a while now, so have generally ceased using condoms. As I don’t desire pregnancy at this time, I’m on the pill. The only time I wear condoms is to avoid discharge if I expect to have another partner within half a day, and I wasn’t seeing my boyfriend that morning anyways.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? All my relationships are with people consenting to be loved by me, and I feel strongly for all of them. I’ve never been in a situation (outside of clear one night stands) where someone I consent to share my body with out of love hasn’t reciprocated. I love sex between close friends, and it is one way I feel I can support and be supported. It is nice to have the ability to bond with confident people in my life through both words and actions.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Drinking was what inspired me to go out with him that night, and it made me more receptive to go to his place, but by the time we had sex I know I was personally no longer drunk.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? As is always a problem with my small body, I ended up going too far and felt sore for the rest of the day. Still, I was super happy about not having to spend a night alone (I HATE that), but I realize that I probably could have asked my boyfriend to spend the night with him. I don’t necessarily ever expect to be in a position where I could move in with two men, so my future plans just involve more of the same. As long as any of my partners or myself avoid hurting people, I will continue to spend time with them. I don’t miss having purely platonic friendships with the men in my life, as there’s always something more I have with this lifestyle.

I expect that this will happen again, as I do keep in contact with the day-to-day lives of my partners beyond just calling them up for dates. The trust I build up in my circle means that there has never been an overwhelmingly negative experience between me and my long-term partners.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I keep the men in my life separate, although my non-boyfriend partners are aware that I have a boyfriend. This is not something I would share with friends, nor my boyfriend unless he changes his perceptions on relationships.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, absolutely. We both enjoy each others’ company.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I will always feel guilt about violating my boyfriend’s views on what a relationship means, even if I can’t share them. The vulnerability I feel these days is because I also suspect that if I were single, one of my current partners would start expecting me to be monogamous with him. While this specific hookup didn’t involve money, in the past I’ve also felt odd having sex with my men right after they’ve helped me out with rent or bills, like I was almost a prostitute.

But the intimacy of that night was fantastic, and I love sharing my body with people I deeply care for.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing has to be the constant rediscovery that lowering my inhibitions leads to good things.

The worst is that it will always be considered cheating, no matter how much the good outweighs the bad. This and our schedules prevents me from fully embracing a lifestyle of multiple partners. I don’t like how I’ve gotten used to sharing my bed to the point that I feel alone many nights.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

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