What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 19
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Liberal
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Casual Uni Hook Up
How long ago did this hookup happen? A year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was relatively attractive, we talked for a little less than a month beforehand, a little flirtatious friendship met online for uni, he moved in down the road. Before the hook up I saw him as a friend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He asked. I thought it was a joke. Was late at night and I asked if he was joking, he said he wasn’t. Planning occurred in that we talked about what we liked and didn’t like, I put a ban on penetrative sex because of a previous relationship but this ban was quickly broken.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He received oral, I received oral, hand job, vaginal penetration. It was a bit awkward at first, it was relaxed, I felt comfortable and confident. It was short-lived, which was a little awkward, laughed and shrugged it off.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It happened twice and now we’re just really good friends, go to each other for advice and hang out quite a lot. I am now in a serious relationship and whilst my boyfriend was a little insecure about how our friendship came about, both men have a friendly relationship and it hasn’t hindered my relationship in the slightest.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend – she’s a very liberal person who thought it was a fair decision but that I needed to be careful about feelings.
A close friend – was called a ‘slag’ and now do not speak anymore.
Current long-term boyfriend – thought it was a weird way that our friendship formed, was a little insecure at first but has gotten used to it and trusts that I am loyal and there are no feelings between either party.
Wider female friendship group – think it’s weird but funny
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? A growing feeling of confidence in myself, including sexual abilities. Made me feel more desirable and sexy, made me love myself more.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Lack of orgasm on my end.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am kinder to myself, knowing more of what I like and don’t like, the casual sex helped affirm this for me after a previously abusive relationship.
Let me realize more about my sexual needs.
Made me more confident.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has a huge stigma, particularly around the millennials and their supposed hook up culture, surrounding a wider culture of drink and drugs. The only other casual sex relationships or lack of I have heard about from my circle of influence is the kind of one-night stands after nights out and parties.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a good idea. People need to realize that their sexuality doesn’t necessarily have to always be tied to a relationship. But someone needs to send an angel and bridge the orgasm gap!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!