What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Chinese Graduate Student
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was my classmate in graduate school, we sat next to each other. I didn’t know her well. She was a quiet petite girl from China, just average looking. I didn’t imagine I would ever hook up with her.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? She had texted me a lot recently, so I thought she might be attracted to me, but I couldn’t be sure if it wasn’t just culture difference or simply being friendly. I decided to invite her to my apartment to see a film together. We watched the film on my couch, then she went back home. I was a little disappointed in myself for not putting any moves on her. Then 10 minutes later she texted me asking if I would let her stay at my apartment that night because she lost her key. When she came back, I told her she could sleep on the couch. She complained that the couch was too uncomfortable and she wanted to sleep in my bed. That’s when I knew for sure she wanted to hook up.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were laying in the bed together for 5 minutes before I decided to start kissing her. She said “finally.” I was really slow to pick up on all her hints, but I wasn’t sure if she was just being an awkward Chinese girl. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a condom, so we didn’t have sex, but I awkwardly grinned at her and then came on her back instead. After that, she seemed happy and laughed that we were having a fling like on the TV show Friends.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We ended up hooking up a few more times, sometimes at her place, sometimes at mine. I thought this was an awesome secret we had. No one in our graduate school knew we were fucking. I think she wanted to turn our relationship into romance, but I wasn’t into it. We are still friends though. She’s a super nice person.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Power/Dominance, it was easy/convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I loved that she was tiny. It felt like she weighed nothing.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? She didn’t like to receive oral sex, but I like to give it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think casual sex should be more accepted. If both partners are enjoying it then why not.
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