Growing Ambiguity



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 33
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? IT
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Polyamorous, Demi-sexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

Growing Ambiguity

How long ago did this hookup happen? Unsure

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? M is short and stocky with a beautiful smile and adorable bangs. She’s a 31 year old poly goth woman with a love for the macabre and people who are up front about themselves. We’ve fooled around and even had sex in a group setting, but never gotten one-on-one time to do so.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We knew we wanted to get to know each other better in a private setting and scheduled a Saturday afternoon to do so. I think we both suspected there would be intimate moments and sex, but we weren’t explicitly planning for it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After spending some time on her couch playing a game, we moved to her bed to take a nap. We did in fact sleep for a while and when we were both awake about an hour later, I told her I would very much like to kiss her. We began making out and grinding against each other. I pulled off my shirt to allow her hands better access to my skin and then she removed her top as well. After a minute more of dry humping, we both stripped off our pants and she reached into a drawer to hand me a condom. I eagerly put it on and then we fucked in missionary. I had forgotten how much she moans and how sweaty we both get. I loved the feel of our skin touching and the taste of her lips as we fucked. When we finished a couple minutes later, I pulled out and she apologized. I was confused for a moment before I noticed she was pointing out that my dick had her blood on it. “Looks like you started my period.” She told me and rushed to the bathroom.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? M and I are friends who also enjoy a sexual relationship. We spent more time together in the following days and had sex again once. We are deeply attracted to each other emotionally and don’t want this relationship to stop even though neither of us has time for a full time relationship right now. I keep thinking about her even though we haven’t had more than 10 minutes together in 10 days.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device), Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked with my partners. L was excited for me. B seemed surprised at my commitment considering limited time he and I have had. G reacted similarly and also sees me obsessing.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The evolving relationship I have with M. We both have very strong confirmation of our feelings about each other.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Having to limit myself afterwards. This is not a relationship I can go nose over tail into.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Somewhat. I’m learning to ask for what I desire, and find that getting that consent is sexy and affirming.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? ❤️❤️❤️❤️

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe that casual sex is ok as long as everyone you’re in a relationship with is open and honest.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Neat!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!