What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Illinois
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Financial adviser
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 16
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Hooking up with my friend’s husband
How long ago did this hookup happen? A year and a half ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was my best friend’s husband. He, my friend and I had all had sex together before. He’s tall, tan, muscular and has an accent.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It happened at my apartment. My best friend, fiance (a woman) and I had gone out drinking. We had been talking for awhile about having group sex and my friend and I were hoping we could get my fiance to do it. After my friend’s husband got off work, he came over too. Not long after that, my fiance and our friend went into the bedroom. My friend was pretty tipsy and my fiance was mostly tired. I stayed on the sofa with my friend’s husband. She and her husband and I had all hooked up before, but my fiance didn’t know that.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I laid down next to him on the sofa and pulled the blanket up over me and he started touching my breasts. He kissed my neck, put his hand on my cheek and turned my head to kiss me on the mouth. I kissed him back.
I got up to see if my friend and fiance were up to anything. He stood behind me, grabbed my hips and while we were both clothed, he pulled my ass against him and he push his hips against me from behind.
While in my room, I talked to my friend for a minute and I think I whispered to her asking if she was going to get something started with my fiance. She said something about trying to. I went and got her water and brought it back. Before I went back to the living room, I took off my panties. When I came back, I opened another bottle of wine. I sat down next to him again. And he pulled down the top of my dress over my arms. He kissed my breasts and bit my nipples. I told him I could barely feel it so he bit me harder and he slapped my nipples. He kissed me again and I kiss him back. He pushed the skirt of my dress back and while on his knees in front of the sofa, he went down on me. It was extremely pleasurable. He was very good with his tongue and fingers.
I thought I heard something and I wanted to make sure that my fiance was still sleeping. I pushed him away and pulled my dress and went back to my room. I think I talked to my friend for a minute or two. She was mostly incoherent.
I went back to the living room and he asked if they were messing around. I told him no that they were sleeping. He was surprised.
I told him my fiance was too much of a prude. I don’t remember how we got back to the couch but he took of his pants. I think he had tight black underwear on. He pulled out his dick and started rubbing himself. He laid down on top of me. Can’t remember if he took his underwear off or not. He was rubbing himself again my hip while he was on top of me. He pinned my hands above my head. I got one hand lose and grabbed his dick. I moved to put him inside me, but he grabbed my hand and put it back above my head. He kept my hands pinned while he continued to rub himself against my hip until he came.
He said it was a shame that we didn’t have a toy. I said I did. I got one of my toys and he watched while I masturbated.
We fell asleep shortly after that.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt guilty because I was cheating on my fiance and I was doing something behind my friend’s back. I found out later that my friend’s husband had contracted a STI that summer.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My two other best friends. They were pretty chill about it. One of them said I should tell my friend. When I did tell my friend that her husband and I fooled around, initially she was pissed and then said she didn’t need to know the details and she wanted to move on. But a year later she still was having issues with her husband lying so she wanted to know the details. I told her everything and she decided she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. She’s still with her husband.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? My friend decided she couldn’t be friends with me anymore.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The guy was hot.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was cheating.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I’m more cautious.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish casual sex were safer, but overall I’ve had positive experiences.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s awesome.
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