Hookup Turned Into Heartbreak



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Hookup Turned Into Heartbreak

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s from my department, a year older than me, a friend of a friend. We knew each other, but started talking more because I thought he was hot and started flirting with him as a “joke” but he seemed into it so we kept on talking

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My university has tradition where every may we have a week off classes and a week of partying, drinking, concerts etc. One night I started insinuating that I wanted to hook up with him, he seemed like he wanted it but something was stopping him so nothing happened. The next night I talked to him again, we went to a more private place and made out. The next night we had sex in one of those portable toilets and the night after that as well.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We just did it cowgirl style, but neither of us came. I was really happy that it was happening cause I’ve started to develop feelings for him, he seemed very into it too. He’s a very private person and I can’t really tell what he’s feeling, but during our hookup he was smiling so much and seemed so happy,but I guess it was just lust.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Right after he kissed me once or twice when I asked him to, we kept on talking like before or even more. I thought he might be interested as well because we had lunch together once, spent more time together with friends or alone, he even said he needed to think sometime to think things over,but when I tried to push the conversation he would either ignore or change topics, but one day I simply told him that I had feelings for him and just wanted to know if it was mutual, and he said it wasn’t. Nowadays, we don’t talk as much as before (used to talk every day) a part of me hates him, another can’t get over it. And I honestly have to clue what he thinks of me.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? At first, no one because he didn’t want anyone to know and I respected that, but after he told me he wasn’t interested I felt heartbroken and wanted to share my feelings to some of my friends. They suspected it but were still shocked because he’s a very private person, and they were pissed by how inconsiderate he was of my feelings

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? It gave me happiness for the moment, but it only gave me false hope and hurt me in the long run

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got to be very intimate with him, and that made me really happy

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The expectation of something more that never happened

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not about casual sex, but I think its better to hook up with someone who you don’t really know or don’t talk to everyday

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m not against casual sex, I’ve had some experiences in that matter. Personally I prefer to do it with someone I don’t know and never see them again, or if it’s someone who I talk to or see from time to time I don’t like awkwardness or being ignored, so I like being on good terms with the person

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