Hookup with My Crush

by Scorp

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 19
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Hookup With My Crush

How long ago did this hookup happen? A day

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is beautiful, perfect smile, perfect hair, everything js just perfect about her. I know her pretty well now. We had never hooked up before but she asked me to teach her how to be with a girl a few months ago but it never happened. I actually met her at her job back in 2015. I thought she was beautiful and had a little crush on her. We started being friends and I added her on Facebook and we got close from then on. I had had a crush on her before we hooked up but I never told her. I think she sort of knew though, to be honest.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It begin when I was over her house a few days ago. We were watching the movie Get Out at about 1 in the morning. It was her, her nephew, and me. After a while, she told her nephew to go and lie down. The movie went off about 30 minutes later and she turmed the tv off. We laid there looking up at the ceiling for about 5 minutes and then she asked me to give her a massage. I happily complied. Five minutes after that she stopped me and said “Do you mind if I be weird for a minute?”. I responded saying wait what. She then proceeded to place my hand on her thigh. Keep in mind, I still have a major crush on her so I was really nervous. We were really close so I know she could tell that I was extremely nervous. We laid there for about 10 minutes with my hand on her though and then she did something I never thought she would do. She grabbed my hand and put it between her legs. So technically, she instigated it

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hookup, I performed oral sex on her. It was the best thing ever honestly. Like I don’t know but every sound she made just sounded like music to my ears and made me feel some type of way. During, I don’t really know how I felt. I was so focused on pleasing her that I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular. We stopped when her sister came in the house.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We didn’t really talk about it face to face but she texted me after I told her I made it home and said she felt like she ruined everything. I was hesitant in the first place because of fearing that she would be regretful after and turned out to be right. My hopes are kinda all over the place right now. A part of me hopes that we can do this again sometimes but another part of me wants to talk to her about it and move past it so things don’t turn out awkward between us.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with my best friend and my cousin. They were surprised because they knew I have liked her for a while now.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t want it to ruin our friendship that we have and make things awkward because we had great friendship before.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing was seeing a different side to her and hearing her reactions to things I was doing to her.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst thing is most likely the regret that she told me she is feeling now

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It changed the way feel about having sex with friends. It helped me to see that things can sometimes get awkward

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? N/A

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s awesome that people get to share their experiences with others

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!